Very Good

Since Christian and Eliana are in school in the afternoons, I have quite a bit of time with just Michaela.  It's been a long time since I could say that.  She is patient, and helpful, and loving, and often I don't give her the time and attention that I'm sure she needs and I know she would love.  Now that we are home alone for several hours I have a chance to invest some wonderful time in our relationship.

A while back I bought a book designed to be a devotional Bible study for a mother and a daughter.  It's called Just Mom and Me Having Tea.  It seems like a sweet book, and of course it's wonderful because we get to stop, sit, look at the Bible, and have tea!  This is something that I have been sorely lacking in...on my own, or with the kids lately - reading the Bible, not having tea.  I am looking forward to the challenge and the delight that will come from simply reading God's word and taking it in. 

I told Michaela about this book when I first bought it, and reminded her of it today once we returned from dropping Eliana off in her class.  She immediately began bustling around, looking for a tablecloth, placemats and cloth napkins, as well as something to set her mug on because,"we have placemats and cloth napkins and my mug can't go on a regular napkin!" 

Duh!  I'm so unsophisticated compared to her.

She got us all set up and I made the tea (we didn't get all fancy this time, just a pot on the stove and a couple of mugs).  We headed to the dining room table with its hodge-podge of decor, quite eclectic and quirky, I think.  She went and got two Bibles, and we discovered that we needed colored pencils as well.  She ran and got those too. 

There were some preliminary and important things to take care of in the beginning of the book; we signed a covenant regarding the study, our interaction and our days, and our love for the Lord.  I asked her if she knew what a covenant was and she said,"Isn't it like a promise?"  Exactly.  

People aren't so great at keeping promises all the time.  To that end, there are often many disappointments, unmet expectations.  As heartbreaking as this fact is, it is what makes grace all the more lovely.  I pray that this study, this time together can be one of growth...a time when I learn what it means to keep promises, when I am able to see the great benefit from doing so quite first-hand, a time when I will be blessed to learn all that this sweet and insightful young lady will share.  I pray that we will know grace, together.

One of the first things in the chapter was a drawing activity.  We had to draw pictures of the good things that God created in the world...

And then we had to draw a self-portrait...a picture of what God considers "very good", the pinnacle of his creation, man.  Or woman, in this instance.

Part of the point of the first lesson is to establish the value that we have, because we are God's, and we are created in his image. 

I have to say that in general it bothers me when a great deal of emphasis is put on how wonderful we are, even as God's children, and that he loves us so much as we are.  I think that is true, as it says in Romans 5:8,"but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  However.  He does not want us to stay in that state from which we were rescued.  We are valuable, yes, but our great dignity lies in the fact that we are created as God's image bearers in this world, not just because we are fabulous.  We as humans have the unique honor of being created in the likeness of the Almighty maker of heaven and earth!  That is what makes us special.  What I liked about this book was that right away the author, Mary Murray, acknowledges this truth.   

Thinking we are special (I prefer the word valuable) must be rooted in our knowledge of God's love and how we are set apart by his gift - his likeness.  And just as he shows us how to walk in his ways, we are showing our daughters how to walk.  Which way am I headed?  That is quite a question for me to ponder, especially these days.

As a mom, particularly as a mom of daughters, I want so much for my children.  Ironically, I often get in the way of the things I want for them myself.  I become the greatest hindrance in their lives when it comes to knowing God and being joyful.  I don't say that to beat myself up; the OCD does wreak havoc around here. (It's not me, it's my OCD!  It's always nice to be able to place the blame elsewhere, isn't it?)  I want their days to be less stressful, more full of laughter, less full of fussing and complaining, and richer in love and things like Scripture and prayer.  I do think we are taking steps, baby ones maybe, toward a life that is more joyful...and I look at these steps and I think,"This is good..."

It is very good.

A Story in a Picture

Last winter my parents were in a car accident.  Their car rolled over at least two times and then slid up the side of the road.  No other cars were hit by their car, which is amazing.  What is even more amazing is that they got out of the car (or were pulled out!) with relatively minor injuries.  My mom called me that evening and said,"I have something to tell you.  I don't want you to freak out."  That is always a great way to start a conversation!  Of course I started freaking out, on the inside.  She went on to share their experience, as best she could remember.  I couldn't believe it as she told me the details.  We talked for a while, on Skype, and it was so good to see them.  To see them there in front of me, alive and so happy to be there.  I took a picture of the two of them, and while it isn't a great shot as far as technical elements go, to me it's a wonderful portrait.  I think their expressions say a lot about what they were thinking and feeling.

I'm so grateful that they were okay.  Those words are inadequate, really. 

 

I'm sharing this on the I Heart Faces website this week.  Their challenge is Photojournalism...share a picture that tells a story.  This picture tells the story of a couple who could have died, but didn't.  It says,"We are full of life, still, and we are going to savor all the moments that we have left, with one another and with our family."  It says,"Life brings unexpected events, but here we are, together, in spite of danger and smashing metal and flying frozen Brunswick stew."  I love their expressions.

There are some wonderful, touching, lovely entries this week.  Pictures tell stories in so many ways.  A photograph really is worth a thousand words.  Go check out some of the other stories!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

The first day of school is not something I often look forward to...there is such a grueling transition from the summer schedule to the school schedule, as well as all of the things that have to get tended to in order to have a successful school year.  I am one who has a hard time accomplishing things when other people are expecting me to do said things.  I fear I can't live up to the expectation, and therefore want to give up before I even start.  This includes things like helping my kids have a good school year.  There are always events or groups in which to participate, and that stuff stresses me out. 

However.  After our summer, full of unexpected occurences and empty of pretty much any routine, the school year was looking pretty appealing this time around.  And I was pleasantly surprised on the first day how smoothly things went.

At first. 

But we'll get to that in a minute.

Christian had no problem getting up and getting ready for school.  His clothes were all ready, we even knew where his belt was, and he ate breakfast and got dressed without any disagreeableness.  At his school, the first day is very short (ridiculously short...but, whatever), and they have a Parent Coffee downstairs for moms and dads to finish signing or turning in paperwork, pick up carpool tags, and buy used uniform pieces if they need to.  We needed to do all of the above.  So, we headed out, everyone together, up the sidewalk in order to drop Christian off in his classroom and then get Eliana her uniforms.  Oh, yes, her uniforms.  I said we'll get to that in a minute.

Christian hid behind Eliana when I brought out the camera.  He wanted to wear his blue shorts with the white polo.  And so he did.  (Can you call them polos when they're not Ralph Lauren?  I'm gonna.)

I don't know if she was telling him he'd have fun on his first day of school, or if he was telling her she would have fun on her first day of school...

His class is small (8), but his classroom is huge!  They have the room in which they are seated at desks, as well as the room through the doors in the back there.  What a space!

We dropped him off, and that was that.  He seemed quite content.  Most of the kids are from his class last year; there are two new students and I hope that they all get along well.

After we left Christian we went down to the basement (it's actually an amazing center for the youth group) in order to take care of the uniforms and a couple of other things.  I got Eliana some shirts and jumpers, a sweatshirt, and a bow.  Oh, my.  The bow.  At this point in the day, she was aware that she was starting school that day, but the reality of that phrase "starting school" had not sunk in.  We got home and I washed all of her new things (because it's me...remember?) and we went to pick up Christian and then had lunch. (Yes, he was done well before lunch.  I told you, ridiculously short.)  After lunch we told Eliana it was time to put on her uniform.

And the end of the world came upon us.

There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth, wailing and flailing and falling over limp as if dead, except for the screaming,"NONONONONO!!!"  We could not get her shirt on because she refused, nay, opposed and prohibited us from, putting her arms through the sleeves.  She ran away to the other side of the couch and cried so miserably that I just put my face in my hands and thought,"This is such a mistake!" as Mike finally picked her up and held her in his lap.

Mike is The Eliana Whisperer. 

After a couple of minutes, or maybe not even that long, her little body relaxed in his lap.  He said something in her ear, and then he prayed for her and for her day.  She did not stop whimpering but she did resign herself to the fact that she was, indeed, going to put that shirt on.  And the jumper followed the shirt, and then her socks and her shoes.  She was still crying, a little quieter now, and I held her at the front door.  We were all going to walk her over to the church (she is in the same school as Christian now) but I went ahead with her out the door.  I had managed to get her to stop crying so she could listen to what I was saying.  I asked her questions about school last year, her friends, and the fun things that she did in co-op.  Then she wiped her nose, for as you all know, when the tears flow, so does the snot.  She held up her hand and said,"Uh, oh."  I told her that was okay, and then instructed her to wipe her hand on my shirt.

The life of a mom is so glamorous.  And just so you know, I wore that shirt the entire rest of the day.

She thought that was quite funny, to wipe her snotty hand on my shirt, and did it two more times.  By the time we got to the school, there were no more tears; they had been replaced by curious concern.  We said hello to the teachers, we peeked over the half-door, and then I carried her inside the classroom.  We saw her cubby, with a little frog inside that said "Eliana" (in writing...it didn't talk!  That would have freaked her out pretty thoroughly.), and we hung her bag on the hook inside the cubby.  I showed her all of the fun things to do:  a kitchen, large plastic animals to play with, play dough, puzzles.  I talked to the teachers for a few minutes, got some instructions (this was, after all, in true Walker form, a last-minute admittance to school), and then held her once more; I told her to pick one of the fun activities to do.  She looked around for a minute and chose the play dough.  (Of course.  Preschool play dough is so gross...because of children like mine.)  I carried her to the table, set her down, and she attended to the dough immediately.  I spoke to the teachers for one more minute, and heard her cry out,"Look at my star!"  I did look at her star, gave her a high-five, and walked out the door. 

I cried.

What a miracle!  I was so happy that she experienced such a change of heart.  When I went to pick her up, the teacher at the door said she was great, and they called to her to come over since I was there.  She looked up from where the other teacher was reading a story and said,"No, I'm listening to the book."  And there she sat until there was only one other little girl and the story was over.

She was so happy, and had had such a good time. 

The rest of this week has been a breeze, except of course Wednesday when she fussed because she didn't get to go to school. 

She's getting so big!  She told me that next week was when they start Driver's Ed.

I don't think I'm ready for that.  I'll have to write a letter of complaint to the person in charge. 

But, until someone figures out a way to stop time, I suppose I'm stuck with these kids who keep growing.  Michaela is about to enter The Double Digits.  The Double Digits!

Christian will be eight on his next birthday.  Eight!  And he is in the second grade.  The second grade!

And the child I gave birth to just last week is telling me she's three.  Three!

It is now fully confirmable that I live in an alternate universe, and therefore am unable to accept the reality that this world puts forth as true.

Kidding!  That would be a problem, now, wouldn't it?  Here is the truth...change is hard, but the challenge should prove to be a good one this year.  I think that has been made abundantly clear in the last five days.  It is good to see and hear the message:  WE CAN HANDLE THE CHANGE! 

Now, I just have to repeat that over and over and over for the next several months.  And we'll be just fine.

By "we'll" I mean "I'll".  They already are.

Summer Fun-My Favorites Part VI

We left Virginia, arrived in Dallas, had one full day and then left again.  This time we were headed to Florida to spend time with Mike's family.  His mom picked us up from the airport and we headed to the beach.  Wendy, Mike's sister, and her family were already there awaiting our arrival.  That's when the party would start, of course.

Actually, our time in Florida was much like the rest of the summer, both difficult and great.  Mike changed his plans and met us in the airport because of the miscarriage, rather than coming two weeks later.  The kids didn't know he was doing that, and it was sooo fun to watch them see him, recognize him, think that it couldn't be him, and then realize that it was him.  It was so good to have him there at the beginning of our trip.  

Even though there were hard times personally, I did enjoy watching the kids have fun.  And I also enjoyed watching movies and eating brownies with Wendy (and sometimes the husbands) which is absolutely a tradition.  I had fun trying to capture some of the moments on film (on Compact Flash?).  My kids love the beach.  They love being there with their cousins.  They want to be in the water and down in the sand.  I like to be on the beach, but not sandy, and near the ocean but not in it.  Having the camera hanging on my shoulder worked out for everyone...it couldn't get wet and sandy!  And I got my summer fun pictures.

Whether they were in the pool or on the beach, they were busy!

Eliana was practically in heaven with so many playmates around...

And having Mike there was such a blessing (especially since I couldn't go in the water)...

Aunt Wendy was the master at getting Eliana to forget that if she was tired and cranky...

We discovered a pretty little mermaid washed up on the beach!

A little rain couldn't keep them out of the pool...

Just hangin' out...

At the end of our trip I said to Wendy,"I need you to come home with me!"  She got Eliana to shower without screaming, eat her chicken nuggets, and pee on the potty.  They were pretty tight.

Eliana got more and more comfortable in the water while we were there...

It doesn't hurt to have strong arms in which to jump.

This next picture is one of my all-time favorite pictures, ever, ever, ever...

I mean it.  When they spend so much time together, they begin to act more like sisters than cousins.  It's wonderful and a pain in alternating moments!  They are so close, though, and I hope that that continues until they are old ladies watching their families play at the beach all together, still.

"Untle Bobby."  She was a fan.

You would think that spending so much time at the beach would lead to a lot of "I'm bored"s but there was always something to do, some more fun to have...

And if we did hear,"I'm bo-ored!" we would just stick them in the middle of the ocean in a little rubber boat.

Here is another of my very favoritest pictures.  I think they look so tough.

It's all fun and games...

until someone gets their eye salt-watered...

A chocolate popsicle on a rainy day...could it get much better than that?

Flips...

and giggles...

Speaking of giggles...trying to get a picture of the ten cousins with their grandma led to a few.

Both pictures and giggles.

Eliana learned how to make superhero arms.  She has no idea what superheroes are, but now, without a doubt, she knows how their arms go...

I just loved watching them; they were always moving...

Okay, this is so funny.  Here is a picture of Eliana from this summer...

and this is Eliana when she was eight and a half months old...

I'm not even sure what to think of that.  Was she having a flashback?  I don't know how someone makes that face one time, much less two times.

These two were like Frick and Frack...they played together and it was so cute.  They are a little over a year apart and we didn't know how they would act around one another this visit, but they got along like pancakes and syrup.  Or something like that.

You haven't lived until you've flown a homemade kite...

A self-portrait...

Wendy's kids spent the first part of the summer learning about Hawaii and then hosted a luau...we learned the hula...

The Christian missionaries banned the hula soon after they arrived on the island (islands?  I must not have been paying attention very well to the lesson) (I mean, I know that Hawaii is more than one island, but I don't remember the exact history and timing of the banning of the hula) because it was "too sassy". 

Wendy and I made a pineapple upside-down cake.  I think she actually made the whole thing, so by "we" I mean that she got the ingredients together, mixed, and poured, and I stood around in the kitchen and then took the cake out of the oven.  Also, I helped hold the cake for the picture.  These are very important jobs and not to be taken lightly.

Do I not look like an Amazon next to my petite sister-in-law?

I have about 759 pictures of Christian skim-boarding.

 Eliana at the beach is like extra sunshine and rainbows mixed into your day...

Michaela is in her element when we are at the beach...

She cannot get enough of the ocean or the sand. 

I believe this will be how I remember Christian as a boy when he is all grown up and I am an old woman thinking back on our summers at the beach...

I'm already nostalgic about it.  I know it is a very unusual thing to spend so much time away on vacation.  It is something I don't want to take for granted in the sense that I am flippant about it.  As I look back on these pictures I see so many memories being made.  I wonder how vivid they will be for the kids.  I hope they do remember and treasure the times with family, whether in Virginia or in Florida.  Or Dallas, for that matter.  I need to remember that.

Summer Fun-My Favorites Part V (or The One That Goes on for Decades)

In the midst of my summertime I felt overwhelmed, by many things.  I didn't feel, at the time, as though there was much joy.  The rough spots, which in reality were here and there rather than totally constant, felt so rough that they overshadowed any smooth parts in my mind.  While I have been looking back over the pictures I have been able to see that there really were some very joyful moments, that there was fun, and beauty, and love.  I'm going to keep sharing some of my favorite moments and pictures for the next few days...if you're up for it, stick around.

After our trip to Washington D.C., Mike had to return home; the four remaining Walkers stayed at my parents' house for a couple more weeks and packed in a lot of fun, some close to home and some farther away.

There were reunions...

How fun it was to see my daughter playing with my first roommate's daughters!  When we met just before starting college, we couldn't believe how many weird things we had in common.  We were two peas in a pod, and two very different girls all at the same time.  We were inseparable our freshman year.  It's hard to believe that we had not seen each other in fifteen years or so.  That is another story for another time.  It was wonderful, wonderful, wonderful to catch up with her.  Grrrnnt-da-grrnnnt.  That doesn't make any sense to most, but there are a lot of memories wrapped up in those nonsensical words.

I also got to see some of my best friends from my later years in college...I could go on and on about these girls.  These women!  I guess we are all old enough to call women now.  Weird.

There was a cookout with good friends, and a pool party too...

There are so many things that I love about these pictures.  I love the simplicity.  I love the contentedness.  I love the happy smiles.

I love my girls riding on four-wheelers.

I love sweet holding-hands moments...

We were at my parents' friends' house, and J. took the kids around on his quad bike.  He told us,"I went as fast as it could go, and she said,'Go faster!'"  Goodness.  What will we do when she's sixteen?!

As evening came on, we began the task of cleaning up.  The kids continued to play in the gravel drive.  Right before we left I discovered just how much fun Eliana had been having...

I have never seen such a dirty kid.  She looked like a chimney sweep.  But, my oh my, did she look happy.

The fun didn't end there.  Oh, no!  There were trips to museums...

where we did some questionable things to the children, but they had fun anyway...

There were building up and knocking down...(a.k.a. being a boy)

And the fun kept going.  Just when we thought we had come to the end of the museum exhibits, there were more!  The kids even played outside, in spite of the heat, scooping sand, looking for pretty shells...

And then they discovered a giant chess board.  How cool!

Christian thought he didn't want to be there, but then he would always have so much fun whatever was next.  We ended our time at the Richmond Science Museum with a little more discovery time, building and fooling around with physics.

They also had fun at the Children's Museum.

I love that my older kids still have a good time doing these activities.  They went from one thing to the next, and were so busy.  It was a great thing to do on another very hot day.

There was a trip to the beach...

We stayed several days in Virginia Beach.  I have one ocean lover and two land lovers.  (Christian has to warm up to the waves each year.)

It was still pretty cold.

Eliana preferred the warm sand...

and warm hugs...

And to cool us off, we had to go on a Blizzard run.  Of course, we did not actually run.

It's a tradition!

We squeezed in some synchronized swimming...

And made some new friends...(Dad never meets a stranger.  Mom just thinks he's getting stranger.)

True story.  My mom, Victoria, actually fell down these steps once.  Now she treads very carefully whenever we are here.

Eliana's idea of a hole-in-one was to pick up the ball and drop it in the hole.  It was great.  She had a lot of fun, and kept up with us, all six games!

Our time at the beach had to come to an end, and we headed back to Richmond, but not before stopping at the Yankee Candle Company in Williamsburg.  It may seem an odd place to take a break, but there is a big toy store in the back, a room full of decorated Christmas trees where it "snows", and a place to dip your own candle into colored wax.  And of course, there was this...

Not stopping was not an option.

Once we were back at my mom and dad's house, we had a few more days to visit.  One of the last things we did was take a trip to the zoo.  I've been to a lot of zoos, but somehow it's always fun.  Again, it was soooo stinkin' hot, but we were troopers and tried to see as much of it as we could.

Some of it really up close...

We saw the baby love...

And I thought I needed a boob job...

We saw sweet faces...

We saw calm and stoic faces...

And more baby love...

We saw penguins!

Those eyes!

And just after I took this next picture, the giraffe swung its head up and just about gave Michaela a kiss on the nose!  Of course, I missed that with the camera, but I'll never forget her face in my mind.

The animals were beautiful.  These guys were right next to...

this guy and he seemed a little...antsy.

We saw marching...

We saw sleeping... (Eliana said,"Why are they not roaring?!")

We saw someone who really needed to brush...(blue teeth??!)

We saw the Thinker!

Is that a big turtle, or what?

We saw a lot more, too, but I am sure you are as anxious for me to end this post as we were to leave the steaming hot zoo that day.  We finally headed out, before we literally melted into puddles on the concrete.

You know, things are crazy in our family.  And when we travel, sometimes they get crazier.  My mom and dad have a quiet house, and that really changes when we come to visit.

There is a lot more noise.  Sometimes there is fighting and conflict (because that happens in families, right?).

But there is always a lot of laughter...

and I think that even though things get back to normal when we leave, and it gets quiet again...they miss the ruckus.  I do think they like it when we're around.

We have some good fun.