A "7"

As I was reading tonight, Christian was working on something in his bed.  Here is the project he had going on...

"A seven!"    

There is so much going on in his head that I don't know or hear about.  I would love to know what inspired this.  Was it something in the story (I don't recall anything about a seven in The Secret Garden)?  Maybe it just emerged as he moved the coins around.  Who knows?  What I do know is that Christian is funny, creative, smart, passionate, intense, caring, and sweet.  Seven words for my son.

And here is something else that I think is noteworthy.  The blanket that he is wrapped up in is a small quilt that I bought from someone at the online store etsy; this person was donating all of the profits from several of the things she was selling to the Cora Playground Project (a playground at the church where the McClenahan's attend, in memory of Cora).  Many etsy sellers were doing this, and Cora's mom is selling some things to benefit the playground as well, but they sell so fast they are hard to get.  Christian has slept with this quilt every night since we've had it.  He knows I purchased it for Cora's playground, and he knows her story.  I think it's sweet that he wants to snuggle up in it.  He has a big heart; I pray that will remain true.

On My Mind Today

There are several things I'm thinking about today...

Some of them are close to home: our imaginary move; homeschool stuff; is anyone else going to be sick and what made Eliana throw up last night; Mike and his work.

Some of them are not so close to home, but feel close in my heart.  There are so many people that are hurting: my parents know many folks who have lost jobs; there are families who are falling apart; there are people fighting against diseases that rob them of moments, days, weeks, and years of life with the people they love; and there are so many who are missing someone special because they're gone much too soon.

Several weeks ago I shared about a little girl and her family who have deeply touched me; they are an amazing example of how God works through devastating circumstances to bring glory to His name, advance His kingdom, and care for His people.  Some A lot of how He does this is a complete mystery, we don't understand His ways.  But to be able to see His goodness in spite of the brokenness in this world is such a...victorious, triumphant blessing.  Today is this little girl's birthday, her name is Cora Paige, and her family went to celebrate her first birthday at her graveside.  That is so wrong, so not the way it should be.  They do have the hope that we are given in knowing Christ and His resurrection, the truth in the power of His rising from death to life.  They are holding on to the promises that are in God's word, His word which endures forever.  They are inspiring other people, who have been invited into their suffering to help carry this burden, to be more faithful themselves. 

This situation has been a springboard for my thoughts on prayer.  I have been praying for them specifically, as well as other children and their families affected by cancer (unknown by me, but known by our Creator).  I have been praying for many devastating situations all around the world, not in any organized fashion, but maybe that will change and something more organized will take shape. 

I am a bit rambley, and I don't know exactly what I am trying to say.  If you would like to meet this family, you can do so here.   As I collect my thoughts, scattered though they may be, I hope to become an effective pray-er on behalf of people who are hurting, whether they are in my home or far away across the world.  You can pray with and for me!

Rest

There is a place to lay your head-

While once it was upon your bed

Or in my arms where you would rest,

It's now upon the Saviour's breast.

He made a promise He shall keep,

I know because His love is deep-

No matter how the river's wide,

His hands across will safely guide.

And when the waves begin to rise

And when the storm drowns out my cries

I'll lift my hands and will not doubt

The Saviour Who will pull me out

Of stormy seas, and rivers wild

Onto a shore with weather mild

Where I will find there's only light

The darkness gone, it's taken flight.

Here is a place that's been restored,

A place for worshiping the Lord,

A place of calm and peace and rest,

A place to lay my head, His breast.

in memory of Cora

Returning to Normalcy

I suppose in order to return to a particular location you have to have been there in the first place.  This is probably true with state of being as well, no?

At any rate, I feel at odds with "carrying on".  I am still weeping over the loss of the little girl Cora, for her sweet, faithful family, and for the suffering and grief that other parents are going through who have lost a child.  I have had to choke back tears so many times today, just doing "normal" things because it hurts to know that there are parents who will not be able to do those same things again.  Leaving a sleeping baby snuggled in the bed.  Sticking the little one in the high chair for lunch.  Watching the oldest practice the piano.  Brushing their teeth.  Seeing the three of them interact.  Even cleaning up their mess. 

There is sorrow in my delight.

I pray that it takes some direction.  There must be somewhere to go with all of this. 

In the meantime I will continue to pray for them, as well as others.  Focus on others...that is a good thing. 

Highly Sensitive

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.  I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

 He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."

Revelation  21:1-5

I shared Cora's story with the kids the other day; I think it is good for them to know that there are people in the world who need our prayers, who have troubles bigger than some of the things we face throughout the day.  Christian sat and looked through their family's blog, clicking on the pictures to make them bigger, commenting on Cora in the pictures before her illness.  He would say,"There she is, all better."  He didn't understand that those photos were prior to the hospital ones.  He wanted to know why the tubes were in her body, why she was hooked up to all the machines.  I tried to explain it the best I could. 

Today, I shared with them that she, as her parents put it, was with Jesus now.  I don't think he really got it at first.  Michaela heard me tell someone at church (I got very emotional and shared a little with a friend, someone who lost a small child many years ago).  This afternoon, however, it sort of "struck" the two of them.  The both just cried and cried.  They said it was just so sad, it was too sad, that a baby had died.  A little baby.  How true.

Christian really had a hard time overcoming his tears.  I didn't try to make him stop or anything; I tried to comfort him.  And God helped me not burst into tears myself, because I have shed more than a few myself today.  The Lord gave me a calm spirit to be with Christian during his sadness.  He wanted to pray right then for Cora and for her family. 

I told him we have a lot to be thankful for.  I also told him that their family had many happy memories of their little girl, and that they knew she was with Jesus now.  He said,"They know?"  I said,"They do."  Our God keeps his promises.  He sent his son to live and die and be raised for us.  And he is victorious.  And so they, we, can know.  We can be certain.  Thank God that he is trustworthy.  Even when we don't understand, we can still trust. 

I know there are many children out there suffering, and that many pass away.  I just happened to "meet" this family on the internet.  They have given me a new determination to pray for those who are in such circumstances...cancer is such a terrible disease.  No child or anyone for that matter should endure all that it brings to pass. 

I am longing for the day when the Lord shall indeed wipe away every tear, when there will be no more death or mourning, when everything will be made new!

I have been deeply affected by this family.  I will never be the same.