I have a problem. I will admit...it's minor compared to pretty much every other problem, ever. But it is worrisome to me.
Worrisome, puzzling, baffling even.
I cannot (as in, I am not capable of) using a manual can opener.
You might be laughing at me right now, but consider this: when I am trying to prepare a meal and the main ingredient is the soup I'm working on, and my can opener falls apart in my hand as I'm cranking, I end up with a problem.
Can opener! You have one job! Can you please cooperate?
Pretty, pretty please?!
My original can opener groaned its final breath a few weeks ago. In anger and disgust, I tossed it in the trash can, as mid-opening it started eating the paper label from the can yet without touching the metal top which I much preferred it to be cutting up. I bought two new openers a couple of weeks ago, and was pleased at first with the first one I tried. The crank was smooth. The cutting blade did in fact cut into the top of the can. The gear on the side turned properly.
Until the crank just refused to turn one day and then with a boing! it sprang into my hand, along with its inside parts.
Exasperated. Sad. Defeated.
I opened the next package. This can opener didn't inspire confidence from the start. And just three cans in, it too started eating the label! While not cutting the metal!
My can openers have identity crises. Why do they think they are paper cutters? Why do they have dreams of shredding paper instead of doing what they we made to do?
Which is open cans!!
Is there a can opener out there that works?! Is it me?! I think I need therapy. Or at least a tutorial. Any help you can offer would be greatly appreciated. I really don't want to have to start using fresh tomatoes only and dried beans only. That is a whole other can of...oh, ha! I couldn't even open it if I wanted to...