Lost Boys, Lost Girl

Tonight did not go as I had planned.

A few weeks ago, I found out about a 5K (or a run that is 3.1 miles). I had just begun exercising, and I considered doing the race. I talked to Mike about it, and he thought I could do it. I started jogging a little further each time I went out. I told myself,"You can do this!"

What made me most excited about the race was the cause. This 5K was to raise money for the non-profit organization Friends of the Lost Boys-DFW. You may know this already, but in case you don't, the Lost Boys are young men, actually, from Sudan, who are some of the survivors of devastating events in both Sudan and Ethiopia decades ago. Simply put, almost fifteen years later,  the U.S. intervened (after these boys had run for their lives from Sudan to Ethiopia, back to Sudan, and then to refugee camps in Kenya, totaling over 1000 miles in the span of a bit over 4 years), and brought almost 4000 young men to the United States, in order to resettle them in many cities around the country (some of the cities are Seattle, Chicago, Jacksonville, and Dallas). From what I've read, some were able to have foster parents and older ones were given aid (helped to find jobs and a place to live with other refugees, given food stamps and clothes, etc.) for the first several months they were here. These young men are, from everything that I have read and heard, diligent workers who do not take anything for granted, and who have a strong faith and a love for their homeland. They seem highly motivated, and strive to excel in whatever they do; they are seeking college degrees and full-time employment. I could go on for a long time about both what they have been through in Africa as well as the difficulties they are overcoming as they seek to establish themselves in a new country; there are many places on the web where you can read about these amazing men.

It seems like (from what I have gathered from the internet) there is an organization in many of the cities that is committed to helping these guys get on their feet. In their own words, the Friends of the Lost Boys-DFW "is a non-profit, volunteer-based, interdenominational effort between several churches and groups based in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area...working together to help assist these young men in their quest to become productive, contributing members of their new country. Our mission is to 'step into the gap' and become the friends, mentors, and extended family that the Lost Boys of Sudan do not have. Our vision is for every Sudanese Lost Boy to achieve his dream of obtaining an education, become a self-sufficient individual and reach the point where each day is not a struggle." 

The more I read (and I have been reading bits and snippets while writing this post, in order to learn more about the "boys" [they are in their 20s and 30s now] and the Friends organization) the more moved I am, by the spirit and strength that is in these men and by the efforts being made to help them live well. Now I'm crying. Okay. Deep breath.

So, I decided that I would run the race. I talked to Mike about it again, and he realized that he had a prior committment on his calendar; if I were to do the 5K, I was going to need someone to watch the kids. I called our family friend and she said she might be able to watch the kids, but she needed to figure something else out. She told me she would get back to me. She did let me know yesterday that she and her husband could watch the kids, which I thought was great. I, for some unknown reason, still hesitated to register. I figured I could do it today.

I think I was still trying to convince myself that I could actually accomplish the goal.

I continued to think about all that the boys went through, when they really were boys (some as young as six years old), all the miles they trekked and all the hostile things they encountered. It was very humbling to go over these things in my head as I ran (bounced) around my fairly safe neighborhood getting exercise (not running for my life) (there was one night that I went out later than I usually do, and all I could think about was coyotes; I ran pretty quickly that night). They were running for their lives. Every day.

I finally once and for all for sure and for certain decided that I would do the race. I went to register online, and discovered that online registration had ended. I would have to do it at the race. This got me all panicky again. I didn't really want to do that. I missed the packet pick-up times. What if there was info that was really important? I called a couple of people, but didn't get much more information than I already had. The last woman I spoke with told me it would be a casual, fun race, and that I should just come on a little early and register and things would be just fine.

Allll righty, then.

Later in the afternoon, I picked the kids' dinner up and dropped them off at our friends' house. I headed over to the church (the race was supposed to start a few blocks from the church, on a college campus) to go to the bathroom one last time. (I drink a lot of water these days. I use the bathroom a lot these days. It's as bad as being pregnant.) I said one last hello and goodbye to Mike before the run (he hadn't left for his Bible study yet), and then headed to the car. As I was getting in my car, I saw a couple from the church drive by in their van; I knew they were both planning on running so I thought to myself,"I'm following them!" (Actually, I think I said it out loud. I talk to myself. A lot.) I backed out and took off after them. I saw that they had pulled up in front of another church staff member's house (our church owns many houses, and many staff live in them...we used to, but then we moved way far away) (it was much more convenient to live close to the church...that is another story) and the wife had gotten out and was talking to the woman who lives in that house. I didn't want to be weird and stop behind them (Why? Why? I don't know! I'm weird for not wanting to seem weird! It doesn't even make sense!) so I just kept driving and thought,"I'll just follow the signs."

Because, surely, they are going to have signs, right? Signs for parking? For the people who are going to be on the college campus for the race? The race that had advertised signs all over the neighborhood for weeks?

NO. NO THEY DID NOT. And don't call me Shirley.

I drove around and around. I followed detour signs. I saw the signs advertising the race. There were construction signs. There were "Campus/University/Resident Only" signs. But never did I see a sign about where I was supposed to park. I drove in circles for thirty minutes; by then it was almost 6:15 and the race was to start at 6:30. I had not registered. I did not have a running number. I did have a big minivan without a parking space. This would not do. 

I headed home.

I wanted very badly to cry. The Lost Boys of Sudan can make their way in Dallas better than I can. I felt so defeated. It's silly, really, but...I was so frustrated that I, a 37-year-old woman, could not figure out where to park so that I could participate in a fund-raiser race for some fellows who have survived war, lions, crocodiles, raging rivers, enemy gunfire, starvation, dehydration, and finally acclimation to a new culture, speaking a new language, far from family. Frustration is not even the word. I felt so stupid.

On the way home, I passed many fast-food places. I wanted to stop and order a giant Whataburger meal. I didn't. I pulled up in front of our house, dropped off my wallet, locked the door back up, and went for a jog here. I did a short loop tonight (mostly because I was so mad when I started that I went too fast and ran out of steam before I got to my first big hill). I got back home, got the car keys, and went to pick up the kids. When our friend came to the door, she opened it with a huge grin and said,"Well, that was fast!" She looked mighty impressed! I had to laugh, and then explain that I never did find a parking space, and I missed the race. She and her husband were sympathetic, and let me carry on and vent my frustration. I stayed for a few minutes, then gathered the kids up and came on home.

I am sad that I missed this race. I read on a blog a few minutes ago that many of the Lost Boys themselves would be running, one of whom is training for the Olympics this summer. Can you imagine what it means to them to run now? Freely, without fear, and yet a memorial to that from which they escaped, from what they endured, and to their perseverance and triumph. 

As I wrote this post, I tried to think of God's providence. This race, for whatever reason, was not meant for me. But there is a race which I am running, and I am called to run in spite of obstacles. I am encouraged to fix my eyes on the One who has run and has been victorious. I'll keep running. Sometimes I might get lost myself, but this lost girl will continue to pray for the Lost Boys, and I will try "not to grow weary and lose heart." The men from Sudan have not; may I pursue the goal as well.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross,scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.   Hebrews 12:1-3

Final Fat Tuesday

Here we are, the last Tuesday of the month. At the beginning of May, I committed to making an effort this month, along with Taylor over at The Lumberjack's Wife, to get more fit. It was quite the convenient coincidence that she decided to do her Fat Tuesday series at that time. Just a couple of days before, I had finally hit that point...that point where I saw myself not just as I look right now, but in light of the trajectory of my body, and my attitude. The path? Was not a good one. 

I'm speaking of a literal looking, too. I might not ever forget that moment when I saw my image in the mirror. I was kind of surprised. I think it might have been two days later when I quit drinking soda and started the exercise video. I talked with Mike last night a little about this journey; I told him that there had definitely been the motivation to make changes based on what boils down to vanity. I didn't look like the "me" I had known. However, I also need to remember that I'm not the "me" I have known...I'm halfway to 38 and I'll likely not have those legs and tummy I had at 24. What has become increasingly important, though, is the fitness aspect; I feel better physically and mentally/emotionally than I have in a long time. And it feels very good to accomplish something that I did not think I could do. I didn't think I could be a runner. I still wouldn't say that what I do is running. But, it's more like jogging than it was when I started! I think I went about 2 miles the other day; today my jog was shorter, but I went at a bad time and it was just so hot that I had to head home after a shorter loop. I have come to enjoy it, though, even through the discomfort, because it feels so great once I'm back home and I can say,"I did that!" 

I did the full 30 days of The 30 Day Shred. I am glad that I did it; I am definitely stronger. I believe that the combination of the video and the walking/jogging, though, is what made my month successful as far as weight loss. Of course, I will never know, since I didn't just do the video...but my thought is that if something sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. I still have some work to do, but I'm happy with where I am at this point. Last night, according to my scale, I weighed 9 pounds less than I did at my last doctor's appointment. However, I double checked on our Wii fit program (which I had gotten on a couple of months ago and had recorded my weight) and it said that I had lost 6.4 pounds since the last time I was on it. I told Mike the info from the Wii and he said,"That's great!" I laughed and said,"Yeah, but I liked it better when it was 9 pounds!" 

One of the best moments for me was when I got dressed on Sunday. I put on some slacks that I had bought when I couldn't wear my regular pants anymore. The last time I wore them, however, they were way too tight, and obviously so. This time, they were clearly looser. They fit like they were supposed to, and didn't stretch across my bottom and look like they were giving me a wedgie, or jut out where the pockets are on the hips in that funky way...you know what I'm talking about, right? So, that was great. 

I'm going to continue on this new path. The present trajectory is much more appealing than the previous one, I do believe. Thank you, Taylor for inspiring me and others this month. It is so helpful to have accountability! (How about stating the obvious?!) And thank you for leaving encouraging comments! It's been a fun month after all!

Michaela on a Mission

Michaela left this afternoon with some fearless youth leaders, parent chaperones, and brave high school student helpers to go on a mission trip to a rural part of Mississippi, where they will help with some farmwork and other things in the community. Our church has an ongoing relationship with the church there; I know that the investment is mutual. Even though our folks go there, it is often those that go to serve who end up blessed beyond what they could have imagined. 

She has been pretty excited about this trip, even after seeing the itinerary. The schedule goes like this: 

6am--Wake-up. 

  Shower or freshen up for the morning.

6:15am--Breakfast. 

  Eating is a must on this trip. Leaders and students 

will be sitting together. There will be meal duties 

assigned throughout the day; leaders will be 

responsible for helping direct students in 

accomplishing their tasks before and after meals.

 

6:45am--Morning Devotions and Prayer

 

7am--Work (Farm or Community Center

  Students will need to have a full water bottle, 

sunscreen on, work gloves in hand, etc.

Upon arriving back at the community center for 
lunch, all students will be directed to take showers 
before lunch.

1pm--Lunch
 Lunches will be nutritional and packed with all the 
essentials for students to recover from all the hard 
work they’ve been doing.

2pm--Free Time 
 Activities will vary throughout the week. Water slides, 
trip into town, hanging out playing cards or games 
sometimes with kids from the community, etc.

6pm--Dinner 
 Dinners, like lunches, are for students and workers 
to recover so the next day they are not groggy or 
lacking any energy. 

7pm--Evening Devotions and Prayer

8pm--Evening Activities 
 Activities will vary from a talent show, to a movie 
night, and going to Mendenhall Bible Church’s Youth Group.

10pm--Lights out.
 This means no talking, joking, laughing. Rest is very 
important on this trip. Please be respectful of 
everyone’s need to sleep. Also, 6am comes quickly.

So. 6am? Yes. It does come quickly. I meant to get her used to getting up a little earlier than she normally does, but...do you know me? Yeah. That didn't really work out. Tomorrow morning should be very interesting. I truly think she is going to have an amazing time, and I hope that she is able to develop some meaningful relationships with some of the kids on the trip. Mike and I have been extremely impressed with the leadership of this age group (they are called JAM [Junior and Middle, I'm guessing...no one has ever said that to me, but I'm smart like Sherlock Holmes] and are the 5th and 6th grade here), especially regarding this trip. They are a fun bunch of young adults, but they are also not tolerating any inappropriate behavior (as in, kids will be sent home for disparaging remarks about the community they are visiting, parents are responsible for getting them from there back home, ). Here are the trip expectations:

1. To come with a willingness to serve.
2. To abide by all rules laid out before the trip and any rules that have to be implemented during the trip.
 3. To be respectful. We are going to another community that is someone’s home. It’s where they live. We respect the people there (no derogatory language, whatsoever); their homes, their places of worship, their  towns, and all of creation.
4. To be earnest in seeing God work in and through us for and with each other.
5. To be sensitive to times where we should be quiet, respectful, sincere.
6. To be loud and pumped full of energy when those times are appropriate.
7. To dress according to what the task is at hand.
8. To never jeopardize your safety or the safety of others.
9. To honor God’s creation and our time there by working hard and willing to work hard.
10. To be encouraged that as we come back to Dallas that your experience--what you have seen, heard, and  touched with your hands, where and what you saw God do in your life and the lives of others--would not stay  with you, but you are willing to share what has happened with others.

I can't wait to hear about her experience! I'll be praying for her every day...if you feel led to, I know I would appreciate it, and I'm sure she would too. 

In the meantime, I'll have these two at home...

I would appreciate prayers regarding that as well. It's already very hot here, and no one wants to play outside (unless there is a pool around), so I'm going to have to be creative with them. I hope your summer is off to a good start...what are your plans?

Vignettey Thoughts

Sometimes our worship leader stops playing and steps away from his microphone. Then it's just the voices of the church, and it's lovely. Sometimes I stop singing just so I can listen for a minute; sometimes I can't sing because it's such a beautiful sound. Today the guy playing the bass guitar was singing his heart out. He had stopped playing, too, and had his hand raised high. 

Charlie preached today; he is so passionate about the gospel. I admire that so much. He doesn't mess around, or tiptoe about on eggshells when the tough issues come up. His personal demeanor is such, though, that he is able to get his message across without leaving people feeling like they have been beaten with a baseball bat. He makes the listener think, hard, about these words that sometimes get glossed over because they've been read so many times before. 

Another family is leaving, moving on to another call. They are headed out tomorrow. Saying goodbye is hard. I mourn the fact that a friend is going away, and I also mourn the time that I missed, the days when I could have called and said,"Hey, are you doing something this afternoon?" Christian's very good friend is part of this family; he is sad. This will be tough for him, I think. 

There is stuff going on, church-related and denomination-related. It hurts. My heart breaks to think about all of the discord in the body of Christ. Part of the passage that Charlie preached on today was Romans 13:13, which encourages believers to behave a certain way, and ends with,"...not in dissension and jealousy." I am grateful for the message of reconciliation we find in the gospel, and that even though there are divisions or pain in the church, there is also love and unity, rooted in the love and unity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Hopefully, there is healing in those things. 

It is exciting to accomplish a goal, especially one that I didn't think I could. (No, I did not get the laundry all done...that might be so exciting it killed me.) I am jogging (read: bouncing) for longer periods of time, and uphill, too. I am considering registering for a 5K. It's Thursday, so I guess I better make up my mind. (Mike said,"You'd better do it!")

Isn't redemption beautiful? I think so.

It's Official...Summer

Today was Christian's last day of third grade. I can't believe it! He had a great year...his class and the second grade were partially combined, and the two teachers' personalities seemed to compliment each other so nicely. They had such positive things to say about him at the end-of-the-year conference. And now summer is upon us! 

It's hard to believe that, technically, I have a 6th grader, 4th grader, and Kindergartner now. I need to do a lot of preparation for next school year so that we can get off to a good start, and stay organized. If you could see our school table right now you might fall in the floor laughing. It's covered with binders, papers, toys, notebooks, schoolbooks, workbooks, and writing utensils. That has been the "next project" on my to-do list for days now. Ha! I have master skills in the art of procrastination! 

I tried to take a couple of pictures today, during Christian's field day festivities. It was crowded, though, and whenever he did anything, he was so fast! Then there was a pool party at a classmate's house, which was so kind, but very chaotic! Again, no pictures. Oh well. I need to get a picture of him because he wants his hair to grow out, and right now it's already ridiculously long. We'll see what happens this summer. He looks like his dad when his hair gets long. (Like his dad looked when he was a boy, since, well, Mike is lacking in the hair department these days.)

I am looking forward to not setting the alarm for the morning, but I also want to try to get up at a reasonable hour and do the exercising earlier. It's already so warm here by the afternoon that it's harder to get motivated to go outside and move around, much less jog! We are all excited that it's summertime, though. Are you?