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Monday
Sep092013

A Hard Obedience

Since we've lived in Dallas, I have been running hard away from teaching in the kids' Sunday school classes. My main excuse for a few years was that I had Eliana to watch. This excuse was really just one of the ways my true excuse manifested itself.

Kid germs.

I'm not saying it's a good excuse, but that is the main thing I've been running away from. I get anxious thinking about All the Germs. Kids gross me out, and so do public places, so kids in a public place?! Not my happy place.

The amazing people in charge of the children's ministry have asked many times if I would consider teaching or helping, and I have evaded the whole issue for the most part. Spotty volunteering and last-minute filling-in are the most I've done. For years I have politely declined being more involved, but all the time, I knew I should do more.

So this year I am helping to teach Eliana's class for the entire year. There are several teachers, and we will work out a rotation, but there are also a ton of kids and, oh my goodness, it is epically challenging to keep 30 first-graders focused on a lesson, even for ten minutes.

I have moments of terror, because I have issues, but I also have moments of joy and anticipation, because I know that this role is of utmost importance: this is the Church 15 years from now. The task is worthy. Much more worthy than the one trying to accomplish it. I am praying that God will continue to soften the stone in my chest (and gigantically boost my immune system), and to give me the desires of my heart. By which I mean to give me his heart for these kids.

Sunday
Sep082013

A Promise for the Weary (i.e. Me)

When there is more laundry to wash, dry, fold, and put away than you can do in a day...

When there are more dirty dishes on the table, covering the counter, and filling your sink than can fit in the dishwasher tonight...

When the toys have become too numerous, and too downstairs-when-they-should-be-up and upstairs-when-they-should-be-down...

When the dust has congregated into not only bunnies, but gated communities, and athletic teams competing in events such as the Dust Bowl...

When the piles, and the shoes, and the bags, and the life just

wear

you

out...

wear his clean robes,
shine in his righteousness,
feast at his table,
live at his feet,
know from dust you were created, and in his image you were made,
thank him for your blessings,
be fleet of foot with the message of redemption and hope,
carry love and grace around, and give them away frequently,
and

live life because, weary one, he will give you rest.

Thursday
Sep052013

Scientifically Speaking

I took Christian to school this morning; on the way there we were quiet in the car, listening to the Christian music station that is on most of the time (unless there is a ball game). The carpool line was ridiculously long, so Christian wanted me to walk him in. I parked on the side of the church opposite from the school side because parking spaces there are easier to come by in the morning. After walking through the building, we neared the entry door; he said,"You can go now," indicating that he was big enough to go the rest of the way on his own. I know he is, but school policy says that is a no-no, so I continued to walk with him. I told him that I was actually going to walk him all the way into his class, give him a big hug and kiss, and say,"I hope you have a great day, my little man!" He looked at me and grinned, shaking his head. I said,"Then I'm going to take a picture of the two of us with my phone and put it on Facebook!" He laughed. When we got to the school doors, I opened them for him and watched him go to the stairs that lead to his classroom. I smiled to myself as I walked back to the car; I like it when I make Christian laugh.

After I returned home, and the girls were dressed, and they had had breakfast, and I had loaded the washing machine (I know. Started it and everything.) (Oh my goodness. I just remembered, that is not true at all. I did start it, but it was a load from yesterday that never got switched, so I had to wash it again. Half points? Because I got it started in the morning and not 5p.m.?), we began their schoolwork.

It's like I don't even know who I am. 

Mike and Michaela actually went for a jog, and while they were gone, I covered a reading lesson with Eliana. We also did a history lesson, and she wrote a narration from what I read. Michaela worked on logic, spelling, and her history. We had a hot lunch in the middle of all that, and I also managed to switch the laundry at least twice. 

Seriously. Alien invasion?

I went to get Christian in the afternoon feeling pretty good about the day. As his teacher led him to our car, he was all smiles. He and Eliana both asked to go visit our church friend whom they like to go see in her office (she always has hugs, and often has treats, although they say they want to go for the hugs). I felt like I needed to get home; Christian had a lot of reading to do on top of his homework, so I told them no, but probably tomorrow. 

The ugly came out. It started small, but it was soon going full force (I wish I could blame that on aliens), and both Christian and I were guilty of using our outside voices inside the car. While the nasty episode did not last long, and soon he was talking in his normal voice again, I was still feeling cruddy. I took a deep breath and chalked it up to not enough sleep, needing a snack, and hormones, between the two of us. 

The next few hours were a combination of doing-just-dandy moments and welcome-to-temper-central moments. At one point, all three kids were looking at something quietly, and I tiptoed through the house because I didn't want to ruin it. Christian and Eliana colored and wrote on the white board happily. Then Eliana fussed and whined and cried because someone [took her thing, wrote on her side, went first, left her behind]. Christian started his homework late, which led to a cranky state of being. (For whom, you say? More than one person, I'll say.)

Eliana and Michaela wanted to do science (which was on the schedule for today) (because I'm insane I love them) (and also, we should do science), and I really wanted to make it happen, since I'm well-known for saying,"Yes!" to science and then escorting it to the front door and drop-kicking it out into the bushes. 

Another deep breath.

We settled on the crystal-making kit. The kids were all excited about the activity, but you cannot believe how quickly it went from delight to debacle. I wanted to toss them all out. In the bushes. With the science. 

We managed to start the process, filling small plastic containers with warm water, coloring it (Oh! The resentment over choosing a color! Because they did not realize they could each do their own! And why is it alwaaaayyys oraaaaaaange?!), and adding small crystally poly-something or other pieces to the cups. (A sidenote: I felt all kinds of awesome when I realized that I had the perfect containers for this project, since I had recently ordered a bunch of small cups with lids to send stuff like hummus in Christian's lunches. Rock. On. Mama.) 

A photobomb will lighten the mood, no? 

It was dinnertime (I can't comment on the intelligence of performing science experiments on the counter next to the stove on which dinner is cooking), so I told them we were going to eat first and then continue the experiment. We set the stuff aside momentarily. 

Of course, it was just too much to wait the full hour to see what had happened. There was a great deal of checking. And excitement. And,"Whoa!" 

And squishy crystals instead of the hard crystals which we started out with. 

What will happen when they dry? I do not know. That is why this is called an experiment. 

At the end of the day, I think it was a good one, in spite of the less stellar moments. I really want to be like those hard crystals that get soft and lose their hardness after being in the water. But I need the Living Water; I need the One who can help me hold my own tongue next time, who can soften my heart and give me compassion. Unlike the science experiment, I already know very well: if this heart is not soaked in that water, quenched by the "spring of water welling up to eternal life," then that hardness is sure to return. No hypothesis necessary. 

Monday
Sep022013

The Cornerstone

Hewn.
A perfect cut, a precious stone-
Beauty found in strength,
Which supports all else:
Smaller stones,
Weaker ones,
Yet built upon the cornerstone.
The strength and value of this rock,
This foundation,
Bestowed upon the weaker so they
Are as that cornerstone.
Firm forever, set and set upon,
The cornerstone stands.

Sunday
Sep012013

(More Than) A Little Behind

When you're concentrating on a particular project, other things tend to get neglected. Normally, my laundry is out of control, so I'm not too sure what to call it when I'm so behind that Christian's drawer has zero pajamas, zero socks, and zero underwear.

In somewhat related, more-than-a-little-behind news, as I was folding laundry tonight, I held up a pair of shorts and wondered if they were Mike's or mine. This question may be just the motivation, which has been otherwise elusive for the last year, for me to don my jogging shorts again.