On a Date with Mr. Walker

Mike and I went on a date tonight. He told me the other day that he had a lot of fun last weekend (when we went to the fundraising event for Christian's school) and that we should go out again this weekend. This time without the other two hundred people. And also no bingo.

We went to a restaurant called El Fenix. It's popular around here, and for good reasons. The food was great. (I had brisket tacos. Day. Lee. See. Oh. So.) (And the salsa? Moo. Ee. Bway. No.) (I was a Spanish major in college. Can you tell?)

We were able to talk about many things (including 1 Direction, Marc Anthony, and Ricky Martin...you can imagine our conversation was riveting) (Also? I originally wrote "Mark Antony"...guess where we are in our history studies?). Homeschooling, house stuff, having another baby, pop culture, the kids...we covered a lot of ground in an hour.

(Just kidding about having another baby. I was just seeing if you were paying attention.)

(Seriously. I'm TOTALLY KIDDING.)

(Can someone help my mom up from the floor?)

I think we'll do this more often (and since we've only done it once a year for a while now, that shouldn't be a difficult achievement). 

Do you go on dates regularly? Is it always dinner? I think I'd rather go eat out, and then come back and do something else...watch a movie or put away laundry or clean the kitchen. Just like when we were dating in college!

The Most Meaningful Decor

I'm looking around at the house, decorated by squinkies on the floor, yarn strewn about, markers and pencils and chunky clips for holding papers, and binders; a cherry red bird singing in a tree on a cloudy day, a bright stripey painting, a self portrait of a girl with the biggest blue eyes I ever saw, one balloon (that I can see), and coloring books, along with Hello Kitty books and, well, a stuffed kitty, and homemade Valentine's all make for a colorful environment, to say the least.

It's such a mess. Always and every day and even after I just spent hours cleaning up.

But the kids were happy when they went to bed, and I like to think that counts for something. 

(I like order. I do. So I'll keep trying to reign in the chaos...but I also love my kids' laughing, so I'll try to cherish those moments when I hear it.)

I Keep Thinking Thursday Is Friday...

I'm sure there are differing philosophies on this, but we consider it a bonus that sometimes we can cuddle up on the sofa under a cozy blanket when it's cold outside and do schoolwork.

Michaela is working on memorizing a large number of facts for the class that she and Eliana attend. There are six categories of facts, with a new fact for each one each week for twenty-four weeks. There is also a timeline that covers world history from Creation to September 11, 2001. It's a lot of information, but she has done an amazing job retaining it. I'm impressed because I have a hard time remembering my name when the server at Chick-Fil-A asks me what it is. True story.

I made a ridiculous amount of cupcakes today, burning the bottoms of some of them. They will get eaten anyway.

I also grilled steaks tonight. And I received a passing grade from everyone who ate them...I was proud.

It was a good simple day.

From Ashes to Glory

It is no coincidence, I am sure, that my thoughts are what they are lately and that today is Ash Wednesday. Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent, and the first day of intentionally preparing as a church for Easter. Tonight at the service we were marked with a cross on our foreheads with ashes. Ashes are used to signify how fragile life is, how we are from dust and will return to dust, and the reality as well as the necessity of death.

It wasn't supposed to be this way, this fragility and death. God made it all good. Since sin came into the world, though, everything changed. Death and decay, pride and sorrow, rebellion and selfishness all overshadow the goodness that once was. But not to the point of overcoming it!

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5

Darkness can never conquer light. 

As I read the beginning words on the bulletin from the service, I was struck by the theme that has been running circles in my head; now it was running a straight line on the paper right before me! The very first paragraph reads:

The Lenten journey from the ashes of death to resurrected life begins on the first day of Lent, Ash Wednesday, which signifies a time to turn around, to change directions, to repent. This first day of Lent reminds us that unless we are willing to die to our old selves, we cannot be raised to new life with Christ. (emphasis mine)

What has been weighing on me? My need to turn around. What was I reminded of yesterday? My re-realization that in order to live I must die. What do I encounter tonight? One more reminder of those very things. 

Those present were encouraged to "observe a Holy Lent by self-examination and penitence, By prayer and fasting, by works of love, And by reading and meditating on the Word of God." The words self-examination struck me like a board. That is something that I very desperately need to do. And not in a woe-is-me-I'm-such-a-terrible-person way, but in a genuine, reflective, and (as it says above) penitent way. 

I have a confession. I wanted to give up soda for Lent. I woke up today with the thought,"I'm going to do it!" I ignored the box of Pepsi in front of our pantry all day. I pushed away the desire to have one each time I thought,"My head hurts," or,"I'm tired," or,"These little people are driving me crazy!" Until suddenly I decided to have one. 

I have no idea what got into me, except I just didn't care more than I did care. And no one knew that I was waffling, making pseudo-plans, feeling good and then caving. Only I knew. And God. I gave myself a good trouncing in my mind. Later, as I took the girls to church so that Michaela and I could attend the service, we were discussing Lent and what it meant. Michaela said to me,"You should give up soda," in an encouraging way, not in a snarky way. I looked at her in the rear-view mirror and said with a wry smile on my face,"Except I just had one." She looked me straight in the eye, smiled, and said,"You can start tomorrow."

And just like that, she showed me the way of grace. I messed up on the first day, but tomorrow is a new day. 

The writer of Lamentations, from a place of depair, clings to this hope:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.”

3:22-24

The Lord's great love for us, his compassion, his faithfulness, we can depend on. Part of the prayer tonight led me, and all of us corporately, to confess "pride, hypocrisy, and impatience in our lives..." I felt that one, heavy. But part of the prayer is confession, and part is a plea: "Accept our repentance, O God...Favorably hear us, O God, for Your mercy is great."

Mercy greater than the highest towering mountain, greater than the depth of the unfathomable bottom of the ocean, greater than the widest chasm dividing is God's gift to us, this death that leads to life and this life instead of death.

"The Cure Had Begun"

Almost two years ago, I had a resurrection of sorts. I refer to The Voyage of the Dawn Treader in that post. It is a significant story for me, particularly the part about Eustace becoming undragoned. To go back and read that post is interesting, among other things. Tonight I also read about Eustace and Aslan in Reordered Love, Reordered Lives. David Naugle mentions that while Eustace certainly started to change, he "wasn't automatically perfect and could still be quite intractable at times." (147) But a change was occurring. C.S. Lewis tells us that for Eustace Clarence Scrubb "the cure had begun." 

I am reminded tonight of this very reality. Something happened to me two years ago, and since then I have made progress, and stepped (slid!) backwards as well. But then I'll move forward again. Transformation didn't happen all at once and for good. (For example, in that post, I said I was going to stop writing posts at midnight...and here it is 12:40am.) But I need to remember that God is faithful, and that there is progress! 

Paul says it like this: It's already happened! The old you is gone! The new you is here!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17

But before we get to that point in his second letter to the Corinthians, he says this: We see the Lord's glory and study it so that we can know it...and by this we are changed so that we are more like him, from him, the Spirit! 

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.  2 Corinthians 3:18

David Naugle writes,"Our cure begins...when God as the Great Physician applies the medicine of the cross to the disease of our sin and nurses us through the love of the Holy Spirit into good health according to the prescriptions of his Word." (147) He goes on to say,"God breaks the power of our habits and addictions and undermines any propensities we may have toward violence." (147)

It seems these days I'm about claiming promises...this is the one for tomorrow. And the day after that, and the one after that too!