True Beauty

You know what? Hanging out with other grown-up women is fun.

And watching fifth- and sixth-grade girls climb on a giant playground and play whack-the-ball-around-the-pole (what is that game called anyway...I totally can't think of it) just like they were still little girls? It's good for a mom's heart. Sometimes it seems like they're way too grown-up already. They know too much. They have been exposed to too much. They are more worldly-wise than I was at the same age. But today there was this little reassurance...they haven't grown up all the way yet. 

The theme of this retreat was "True Beauty." How do you even begin to cover this subject in a 24-hour period of time? Even a few months of regular study wouldn't be enough to thoroughly investigate what true beauty is, much less what it means to know why it is important to know it in our culture today. It was a good place to start, though, and for me it was very good to hear reminders of things that I know but (all too) often forget. 

The world tells us what is beautiful, and we fall for it. Magazine ads, television commercials, billboards, all proclaim that their [insert product here] is just what we need in order to be beautiful like [insert picture of a beautiful woman here]. But the truth? The truth is that the women in those ads aren't even completely real. We watched a video that the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty put out, which they call "Evolution of Beauty."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHqzlxGGJFo

(There was no way to embed the video...you can check it out if you want; it's short.)

After the video, the speaker told us that what we see in ads, what the advertisers are presenting is completely fake! And I get what she was getting at...but what came to my mind was a little different. What they're presenting isn't completely fake. They start with a real woman, who is attractive, even with no make-up on. She looks very pretty when they're done with her hair and make-up, but they go on to tweak her picture, which will end up in the ad, making her neck longer, her eyes wider, and her cheekbones higher. They take the truth and they twist it just a bit. And it's that lie that's mixed in with the truth that gets us in really big trouble. 

And it has been that way from the beginning. 

There is a trust issue. Do we trust that what God has given us is enough? Do we trust that what he has done for us is enough? Do we trust that who we are in him is enough?

Do we trust that he really loves us, or is there something more? 

When that niggling question, that seed of doubt, gets planted, it's like a weed that has the ability to grow up and choke out the healthy, beautiful, blossoming flower that is supposed to bloom. I began reading The Jesus Storybook Bible to the kids the other night, and Sally Lloyd-Jones writes the phrase,"And they were lovely because he loved them," when she describes Adam and Eve after God has made them. God's love makes us so beautiful. And it has nothing to do with what we look like. It has everything to do with Who we are reflecting. The only way we can defend against a lie is to know the truth, to cling to the truth, and to proclaim the truth. 

One could write many words on the subject, and yet the thing is so simple. Sometimes simple things can feel so difficult. I will keep talking to Michaela, and Eliana too, about it. And Christian, for that matter; the issue is not only about women, and he needs to know what true beauty is and where it comes from just as much as his sisters. Those messages from the media are not going to stop coming on strong. But is there anything in this world that is so strong we can't stand firm before it? 

No.

No.

No.

We ended our time today doing a devotion on Isaiah 40:25-31, and the final verses of that passage remind us again of what is true:

 Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

He is our strength. He is our hope. He is our beauty. 

My prayer...to be beautiful for him today.

And I may or may not have make-up on... (wink)

New Heights

She stepped forward. Her helmet was secure. The harness was waiting, carabiners jangling.
After a couple of clicks, she called out,"Spotters ready?" They answered,"Ready!" "On belay?" "Belay on!" "Climbing!" "Climb on!"
And one foot up, two feet up, grasping fingers, getting her footing, higher and higher, she scaled the wall.
Cheers and whoops escorted her down as she trusted the one who held her securely, lower and lower.
There is always one who holds the rope securely.

An Opportunity to Grow (Up)

Going to the bus stop for the first time, walking into a new classroom every hour for that first day of sixth grade, showing up at the birthday party not knowing the majority of the girls there (a sleepover party!), walking alone to the Baptist Student Union for the first meeting of the year as a freshman in college and feeling completely alone in a room full of people...just thinking about these moments makes my heart pound a little harder. My anxiety level rises a notch. 

Michaela and I are going on a mother-daughter retreat tomorrow, and it's just an overnight thing, but I am so nervous. She knows the girls from Sunday School, Bible study, and choir. I know three of the moms, out of twenty. These are ladies that I have had conversations with, but just small talk. They are very nice. But I am so nervous. Speaking with someone as you pass by them at church is fairly easy. Spending 24 hours with women that you don't really know...that seems scary! 

The women at our church have been so gracious to our family, so I really don't have a basis for my anxiety. (There is the germ thing...I don't like to go in public, pretty much, and I feel anxious about that, but this is alongside of that. Good stuff!) So I'm praying that I will get over myself, go with an open mind and heart, and have fun. 

I tend to compare myself to other women. Does that sound familiar? And I am afraid that people think that I am a certain kind of person (think "gentle and quiet spirit") (Wendy, did you fall off your chair laughing?) since I am a pastor's wife (Mike is considered a pastor at our church, even though his ministry is more teaching than preaching from the pulpit). I usually blow the typical pastor's wife stereotype out of the water (whatever the typical pastor's wife stereotype is...is there even one?), and sometimes I do it on purpose. I never want to appear to be like someone I am not. (No fear there, ha!) (If there is one thing I've never been accused of, it's being fake.) (I think.) My guess is there is some middle ground, though, between the extreme sides of letting people think you have your stuff together and letting people know that not only do you not have your stuff together, you often can't even find it (it's under the laundry pile or behind the stack of books on the floor, or maybe even mixed up with the LEGOs). 

Foolishly, I worry that my clothes aren't cool enough (Old Navy and Target vs. Nordstrom), or that I didn't do my make-up right (that one time a month that I wear it), or that my Kia minivan isn't worthy (there are more SUVs of the Lexus and Other Fancy Cars variety than Kias among those who attend our church). But those aren't the things that are important, and I know it! So I'm praying that God will help me to let those things go, and not only for my sake, but for Michaela's sake. I want to teach her that those things don't matter, and that what she is learning as she reads the Bible on her own, with me, or in Sunday School is not just words on a page that sound good in theory, but that the message has value today as a very relevant and practical one. 

The bottom line is no matter how expensive my clothes are, no matter how perfect my make-up is, no matter how fancy my car is (or not), I am a broken sinner just like each person I come into contact with...and what we all need is a Savior. Jesus has come to save us, indeed, from our sin as well as our (my!) inordinate self-preoccupation.

As I was typing, I thought of Philippians 4:8-9,"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." The rest of the chapter says things like, "Rejoice!" and,"Do not be anxious about anything..." and,"[T]he peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Paul also reminds us that he has known both want and plenty, and affirms in verse 13,"I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Toward the end of his letter he says:

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Greet all God’s people in Christ Jesus.

What a wonderful reminder of just what I needed to hear! Think on all those excellent and praiseworthy things, praise him, trust him...and greet others in Christ Jesus.

Oh, to have really known this when I was in middle school!! 

But seriously, how lovely that it all goes together. When we rejoice, we can be not anxious; when we pray, we have peace which guards our hearts; when we think on all the right things - the noble, the true, the lovely - we also have peace. He gives us strength, he meets our needs, we can know his grace...what a reward for standing firm in the Lord. 

Instead of thinking about myself, I pray that I will be thinking about others this weekend. And while it isn't important whether or not my clothes are cool, it is important that I take some with me...so I better go pack. "I can do all this through him who gives me strength!" The big things and the little things...he considers them all.

Being Schooled

It's a quiet night here. We've had dinner. The kitchen is mostly cleaned up. And the kids are playing school...

Michaela is the teacher. Christian is doing his (actual) homework. And I had a brilliant revelation while watching them.

Michaela needs to teach Eliana everything that she herself is supposed to be learning. She loves to be in the teacher role. So, there you go. And just think...Eliana will be ready for middle school by the end of the summer.

Wait. Maybe I need to rethink this idea...

Diagramming - the Dickens!

Mike has been reading A Christmas Carol for us after dinner over a period of time. It has been a lot of fun to listen to such rich language! And I really love that the kids get the humorous parts. Mr. Charles Dickens did not have a problem with strong verbs and quality adjectives!! 

Nor did he have a problem with Very Long Sentences. Michaela was so impressed with one in particular that she determined she would diagram it. The sentence is so long that it took up most of our medium sized white board. 

After a great deal of time, mental effort, Google, and my diagram book, she (and I) came up with what we think is a likely diagram for this profusely descriptive arrangement of words for a snowy middle-of-the-night in London's 19th century! 

Diagramming sentences that are made up for the purpose of teaching diagramming is one beast. Diagramming 19th century English classic English literature is another entirely. It is...well, it's the Dickens!