Michaela Is Twelve

It happened while I wasn't looking, and it happened while I was watching. My baby girl is twelve years old!

She started her birthday celebration with her girl cousins at the ice skating rink. (Yes, you can ice skate even when it's 75 degrees outside!) They also went for ice cream, and then met the rest of the family back at Grandma Diana's.

Grandma Diana and Michaela share a birthday! We only put candles on the cake for Michaela though, at Grandma's request. 

There were cards and presents for both of them to open.

And party hats for everyone! We had a great time celebrating one more year with both of them...and we look forward to many more!

2013 Joy for the Year

All of the kids stayed up this year until midnight. They were pretty excited about that. We caught some fireworks too. 

I mean, not actually caught them...oh, you know what I mean.

Fireworks were a bonus! 

One more year has passed. It was a good year for some. It will be a dreadful year to remember for others. My heart hurts for those who are in pain. 

But somehow, the opportunity for something different, something better, always presents itself New Year's Eve each December 31st. And we hope that no matter what the previous year brought us, that the coming year will hold happiness. 

Here's to a 2013 full of joy, no matter what happens. 

Horizon

Low slung orb muted radiant
Glowing cypress limbs reach and sway
Can you hear the melody
As the wind swiftly swells whispers retreats

What I Hear...Is That What You Said?!

The girls love each other like sisters. Sometimes that means laughter and sometimes that means tears. Tonight, a very wise Wendy came over to break some things down with the girls, to help them learn how to actively listen, and to help them communicate with one another (and in the future with others) in a way that will let their feelings and thoughts be known, but also take into consideration the feelings of the other. This is a tricky skill at any age, really. And I was grateful to sit in on the exchange because I learned a lot myself. 

The two of them practiced (and very maturely, I might add) listening to the other, and repeating what they heard: "What I hear you saying is..." They handled the conversation in a way that impressed me beyond what I can express here. They spoke calmly, they listened respectfully, they responded not-defensively. It really was productive. What valuable lessons to learn now! 

After the girls got settled (there are a lot of spend-the-nights when we are in town), I went out to the kitchen and Mike was there. He smiled and said to me,"I see you left your Coke on the counter." I immediately said,"I wasn't finished with it! Did you toss it?!" He calmed me down and told me no. But I thought right away, how funny that we just got done talking with the girls about how it can be different, what a person says versus what someone else hears...and I did just that! I laughed and wanted to say to Mike,"What I hear you saying is,'I threw your Coke away when I saw it on the counter.'" 

I'm grateful for Wendy, and her wisdom. I'm glad that she had the idea to help the girls take this important step on the road to successful and productive communication. And I really think that I will benefit from sitting in on the conversation! One of the last things she said to the girls was that it's okay to have emotions and to cry (one of them was surprised when we said we were proud and that they had done a great job, because, she said, they cried a lot)...then Wendy said,"If you hold all those tears inside, your heart will break." 

I thought that was powerful. Our hearts aren't designed to withstand high pressure! We need to be able to say how we feel, and in healthy ways. Hopefully we can help them (and the other kids too) learn how to handle the emotions that come from being in relationship with someone else, and not just how to handle them but how to express them and use them for growth. From the beginning of time, letting one's emotions get the best of oneself has led to major disaster and heartache. As selfish human beings, this is going to be a life-long process; in the words of both of the girls (and almost simultaneously), there will be humps but they've cleared the mountains! 

I'm learning with them. I know I have a long way to go. I hope that since they are getting a head start, they'll be farther along on the journey by the time they are adults.

And not middle-aged adults! But young adults!

(What I hear you saying is that Christina is middle aged...)

They're Only Kids Once

I'm tired, and tired doesn't lend itself to creativity and coherence. Just a little heads up here.

I have been reminded recently (lovingly, not nastily) that I need to stop being a party pooper. I get hung up on my own issues, and when you add that to my tendency to be lazy (not put much of an effort into things because it's not convenient/easy/benefitting me directly) (I know myself...these things are true, I'm not just bashing Christina), my kids lose out on some fun things that a normal parent would provide or do without thinking twice (or at least, after thinking twice, they would hop to it). Mike pushes me (in a good way) to do things that I might not do if it were just up to me (my kids can thank the Lord that they have two parents) (if you want an example, remember Christian's birthday party in first grade...Mike pretty much did everything once the kids arrived at our house), and so do other family members.

So tonight I'm thinking about this upcoming year, and how I really want to do many things differently. I know it's not wise to make plans about changing a lot of things all at once. But there is a list of things I want to work on. Being more intentional about doing things with my kids is at the top of the list. Whether it's schoolwork, field trips, art, science, or tossing the baseball, I am hoping to see them (the kids) with fresh eyes, and to have fun with them, and to let them have fun.

As someone who is very wise said to me, they're only kids once.