Bonhoeffer Discussion Questions

Do you think that if there was a stronger faith commitment Mrs. Bonhoeffer might have been able to handle the tragedy of loss more effectively?  Why or why not?  How have you or your family and friends handled tragic situations?  Have you "folded" as Mrs. Bonhoeffer did for a while? What lesson(s) did you learn from the situation that helped to strengthen your faith?  If your faith was not strengthened, why do you think that was the case? 

Here are a couple of quotes from the book:

"Dietrich sang loudly and clearly [at the funeral of Walter], as his mother always wished the family to do. And she did, too, drawing strength from its words, which spoke of the heart's longing for the heavenly city, where God waited for us and would comfort us and 'wipe away every tear.'" (p. 28) Note the words of the hymn which she picked out for the service: "What God has done, it is well done./His will is always just./Whatever He will do to me,/In Him I'll ever place my trust." A person with a weak faith commitment would have a very hard time choosing a song like that at a moment like that. Our grief affects us physically, not just emotionally. One son away at war, one just killed in that very war, and a third called up to go just after...this kind of stress (on a mother!) was great.
Jesus taught us that grief is an acceptable emotion, and unavoidable. He wept (and certain commentaries on the passage where he goes to Lazarus' sisters after Lazarus has been placed in the tomb render the word that is often translated "weep" as something far stronger, like "cried in anguish or rage." Why was he so affected? Especially since he knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead. What I have read on the subject points to Jesus' sorrow about death, and in particular the death of his very close friend and how it devastated that family, because death was not supposed to be. Mankind was created to live with God, and forever. Now that was all messed up (and can it be more clearly seen during times of war?), and it made him righteously angry. The beautiful thing is that he was setting himself, firmly and resolutely and voluntarily, to make things right again. Raising Lazarus from the dead was a foretaste of the glory that would come: from his own resurrection and victory over death forever to the resurrection of all who believe in his name unto eternal life in the new heavens and the new earth. In light of Jesus' own grief and compassion, Paula Bonhoeffer's grief was legitimate, understandable, and most certainly not a sign of a faith that was not strong. I'm having trouble remembering if the neighbors that she stayed with were Christians, and the only thing I might add is that it is possible that if she had had more of a Christian community of faith surrounding her, it might have been easier to bear. I am afraid that is coming out wrong. The fact is that by God's grace, she came through this difficult period, and as far as I could tell, her faith was not weakened by losing a son. Imagine this mother's broken heart at the end of her life, as so many of her boys had been taken in war. 

A quick word on my personal experiences...I have been through several things that I thought I never could have managed. I know that I am here because of God's grace and others' prayers. I have been strong in serious circumstances; I have folded for lesser. The point is that we must rely on God for everything; there is nothing, no thing, that we may accomplish on our own. It is all by his grace. Sometimes I have gotten dinner on the table and that in itself was a testimony to the help of the Lord. Sometimes I have "climbed a mountain." And that could only be by the Lord. We have to learn to say that he is the one who makes all things possible. A lesson that I have learned from tragic times is that the joy of the Lord is truly my strength.

 

Bonhoeffer wrote, "It's much easier for me to imagine a praying murderer, a praying prostitute, than a vain person praying. Nothing is so at odds with prayer as vanity."  Do you agree with this statement? Why or why not?

Um, mainly this makes sense because Jesus did things like invite tax collectors to be disciples, free prostitutes from their lives of misery, touch "dirty" people without fear or hesitation, and forgive sinners who put their faith in him (such as the murderer on the cross next to him). Jesus said: “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." (Matthew 6:5-8) Jesus constantly invited those who were burdened by their sins and sicknesses to come to him for rest, healing, and forgiveness. Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow...and we are the ones he came to save, along with them.

"Is there such a thing as a necessary lie?"

How would you answer this question?

Can you think of an example of a lie that would be "necessary"?

Would God condone it?  Why or why not?  Support your answer with Scripture.

A tough question. I can think of many times in the Bible when someone lied in order to do what they thought would accomplish God's will, and not always during a time of war. Abraham and Sarah in Egypt, Isaac and Rebekah in Egypt, Jacob and Rebekah to Isaac regarding the blessing. There were also times when lies were used during war, as with Rahab and the spies. There are also instances in the Bible where lies are met with immediate and terrible consequences, as when Ananias and Sapphira lied about how much they received when they sold a piece of property and gave the money to the disciples, but not all of it. They lied to God and men, though, so maybe that's the difference? I don't know Scripture well enough to know how that factors in.  At any rate, God is never surprised by our sin. While I don't think he condones lying (there are many verses that speak of how God hates lying (in the Proverbs especially), I believe he can redeem it. How he did so in Peter's life! How grateful are we that we have such examples in Scripture of great failure on man's part and great saving grace on God's part!