Today was a day I didn't want to face. I can't say why; there was no reason that I could give. I just didn't want to be up. I had no energy, no motivation.
I did get up though. The thought of depression winning made me mad, so I guess that's one victory for me. I don't feel particularly victorious (although I even took a shower, which is extra ambitious) because the rest of the day feels like a wash.
Anyway, at dinner the kids and I laughed about as hard as we have in a while, so that was fun. They were being particularly silly, and Christian is quite a witty character, so the combination of each one's antics made for a hilarious dinner, as well as a louder dinner than it should have been. At the end of the day, a lot of days, I try to feel good about the fact that they each went to bed relatively happy, in spite of all the things I do wrong, and in spite of the disaster of a house they live in. Believe me when I say that I want things to change, but at the same time, I am grateful that they are resilient.
I do not, however, want that to become my excuse not to change. Just for the record.