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I was minding my own business.  I was talking to a friend and we were watching our kids on a little playground at the YMCA while our daughters practiced soccer.  Little pieces of something green came falling down on and around us and she (my friend) said,"What's that?!"  She was sitting on a bench feeding her nephew a bottle.  I leaned over and looked at one of the things that had landed next to her and said,"It's a piece of a pear that been eaten!"  She said,"Nooo!"  I said,"Yes!" Well, I moved over a bit to avoid the falling food or nuts or whatever.  A few seconds later I thought I felt something on my head, so I reached up to brush off one of these falling pieces.  I could actually see there was a squirrel up on the branch above where my friend was sitting.  My finger felt something soft instead of a hard piece of nut.  I looked at my finger and to my horror there was indeed squirrel poop on my finger, and a little under my fingernail!  And it smelled very bad.  And it was in my hair.  And under my fingernail! I said,"This is poop!"  My friend said,"Nooo!"  I said,"Yes!  Look at it!  Smell it!"  And for anyone who doesn't like when people write/talk with exclamation points, I'm very sorry, but I really mean(t) them.  !!! Well, she helped me get it out of my hair with a wet wipe and I used quite a bit of Purell and suffered through the rest of soccer practice trying to keep my hair from blowing in my face without touching it to push it back. Probably needless to say, this incident does not increase my love for wildlife.  I can appreciate the beauty of God's creation, and admire animals from a distance...but really, must they defecate on my person?

Reader Comments (1)

Dear Christina,

I am sorry you misinterpreted my expression of affection for you. Wildlife loves you -- do you not remember the caterpillar, the turtle, the dog, and the bird that showered you with the same affection? Despite your intransigence, we will keep trying.

Yours truly,


September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSquirrel

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