House Keeping
Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 10:40PM I've got something brewing in my mind.
Scary, I know.
I have been pretty down lately...if the truth be told, a better word to use is despondent. Now, I've been able to get up and get going, but barely. The main issue for me right now is our house.
We moved at the beginning of the year and never really finished the job of settling in. There are many different factors that make up our current FAULTY equation, and I don't think I'll go into all the gory details. What it boils down to is that SO much needs to be done that I don't know where to start. And any time I actually feel the slightest bit of motivation to start, I look at one particular area and completely lose heart.
I wish I could make a joke, or say something funny and charmingly self-deprecating. The truth is...it's not funny. At one point, it was kind of funny to tell people with a little laugh,"Oh, we'll be settled by December...of 2013! But now it's more like being in the Pit of Despair, where the life-sucking machine in the form of the chaos that is all around me, well, is sucking the life out of me moment by moment.
Well, that was dramatic, wasn't it?
I love The Princess Bride. Do you think it would be bad if instead of cleaning up our back entryway I went and watched that movie right now?
OH! I just had a new idea...I can put on a movie, and clean at the same tiime! Why didn't I think of that before?! I already feel better.
The other idea I had, which is what I was referencing when I said there was something brewing up in my brains (which, by the way, Christian's teacher this morning said to me,"I can see that you are a right-brained person...I'm married to one of those." She said it with the warmest and most lovely smile on her face, yet sympathetically...we had forgotten Christian's nightly reading book to turn in. It was just a statement, though, and she didn't make any conclusion...I wasn't sure what to think of that.)...brains...right!
I was thinking earlier today about how horrible the house makes me feel and I thought,"I have to do something about it. It's not going anywhere. I can't throw all of our stuff in the yard and burn it. We aren't moving any time soon. It's just going to get worse, unless I DO SOMETHING!!" So, I thought it might motivate me if I shared my journey from overwhelmed housewife to functioning-in-a-somewhat-normal-way housewife here on the blog. I decided that to set the goal higher, say to go from overwhelmed housewife to totally-ordered-and-efficient-in-every-way housewife would just be setting myself up for a bit of failure. (Please know that I am smiling as I write that.)
The Situation:
There is regular mail to go through, as well as papers that were never sorted before our move. There are enough shoes to outfit an army, and that's just at the back door. There is luggage. There are kids' papers and crafts. There are still boxes that haven't been unpacked. There is a technological arsenal. We have so much electronic paraphernalia that we could open our own version of Radio Shack. There is laundry, and there are toys. There is even a broken sewing machine hanging around.
My ironing board and iron are put away...does that count for something? Please?
I thought of putting pictures up of the progress that I make. I think it will be painfully slow. It could be fun...for my mom and my sister-in-law. They feel my pain.
This might sound silly, but I also believe that at the root of my problem is a spiritual issue. I know how to talk the talk and sound like I know what I'm talking about when it comes to being a Christian. But right now it's mostly talk. The computer and the blog, while offering me a great way to stay sane in many ways and being a fun outlet for my desire to write, have also been consuming way too much of my time. I know this, and yet I choose to sit in front of this screen for too long each night. I check on everyone's life under the sun yet neglect the one that lies just behind me. In this regard, I am not a victim, but an offender. I do want to change that. Getting back to the spiritual stuff...the Lord has given me responsibilities, ones that I accepted. When I make those things priorities, then I honor Him with the work that I do. And I haven't been doing that. I've been running away instead. Ooh, like Jonah. And hopefully I can learn my lesson from his experience instead of being so stubborn and hard-headed and selfish that I have to have my own lesson.
There are so many things still percolating (to keep with the analogy), but you know, when you don't let it steep long enough you end up with a weak brew. I'll end for now. Sorry to ramble on, but maybe by getting it out in the open (so to speak) I will be motivated to take those first steps. And then the next! And then some more! Until I can walk a straight path in any direction through my totally ordered and spotless house!
some thoughts
Reader Comments (4)
Well you know my concerns and the first question I would ask you. :)
For now let me just say that I love your heart Christina - and your right braindedness.
Remember to take baby steps. See if you can keep up with the everyday stuff, and then add one small extra task everyday. Maybe you could post your goal each night and then report back the next day for accountability. And as you know, I am highly qualified to hand out this advice! (I need to take it, not give it) Seriously, I really do feel your pain. Is there such thing as Disasters Anonymous? I'm ready to join...Hi, I'm Wendy and I am a disaster.
Wendy, you have no idea how well-timed your comment was. That good laugh will get me through this evening! And I would totally be joining DA. It feels good to say it, doesn't it? That's part of the healing process?
Mindee, you continue to be so encouraging and I thank you! I'm afraid I don't have a satisfactory answer for your question yet, but don't give up on me!! :)
Hi I'm JennyRebecca and I am also a Disaster. And Christina...I toooooooootally relate when you were talking about the right brained stuff! I love how you said...brains...right! That was awesome. That was a laugh outloud moment for me. Miss you...J.R.