Redemption...
Monday, September 14, 2009 at 10:02PM 1. Couldn't get Christian to take getting out of the door seriously this morning, even though I was also supposed to be in the classroom to help the students with their morning centers.
2. Hit Christian in the face (lightly) with my security necklace (also known as a lanyard)-accused of doing it on purpose. Yes, that's right, because I am that kind of a mom. How about, I was trying to help you put on your shoes?
3. Once we got to school realized that we had once again left Christian's bag on the front door since we left through the back door.
4. Also, didn't pack a lunch for Christian.
5. Had both girls in the classroom with me; Eliana fussy and wanting to get out of stroller. Put her on my lap while trying to help with the Geo-Safari. First time for students to record their scores. Miss one child's score because of Eliana. Grrr.
6. Make a scene trying to get the stroller out of the classroom...why am I such a klutz?!
7. Can't decide if I should walk home (in the rain) before dropping Eliana off at the co-op or just hang around. Walk to the other end of the church building...change my mind and decide to stay...walk back to the other end of the church building. Miss living literally across the street from the church! (Being at the far end of the block now sometimes makes a big difference!)
8. Early for co-op; once Eliana can go in, she begins screaming. Teacher takes her from me as she cries out,"Mommy, momma, mommy, momma?!" hysterically. Trying not to cry myself.
9. Hurry home in order to make Christian's lunch to bring back to school.
10. Have a stinking moment with Michalea. She is sassy, I am sassy...can someone please behave like a grown-up around here?
11. Feel as though I am single-handedly, uniquely, and in individual ways screwing up each of my children forever.
12. Take Christian's lunch to school, and his bag as well-yes! I remembered both at the same time.
13. Think I'll stroll past Eliana's class just to make sure she is not screaming any longer. Win prize for worst timing in the world-Eliana is sitting on cabinet in hallway, with one of the volunteer moms, as I walk toward them. She must have been crying loud enough to be distracting for the rest of the class. My child is the "bad kid" who was kicked out of class!
14. Other mom quickly turns Eliana away; over-protective idiot turns quickly down hallway to left. Wait a couple of minutes; she cries again as she is taken back into the classroom. I wait, and walk by, and hear nothing. Decide that she will be okay, I will be okay, and I must leave now.
15. Make it up with Michaela at home, have hot chocolate and a muffin together.
16. Go get Eliana, she is smiling to see me, and had been playing. Good news for my aching heart. Maybe I am not single-handedly, uniquely, and in individual ways screwing up my children forever. Verdict is still out with Christian, as I haven't seen him again, yet.
17. Christian is happy to see me after school. Wants to hold my hand. So, yes, maybe I am not single-handedly, uniquely, and in individual ways screwing up my children forever.
18. Going to give them pancakes for dinner.
19. Conscience just won't let me do that...add eggs, there is some protein.
20. My children all still love me at the end of the day. There is healing in that miracle that I cannot describe with words, and it is one that occurs daily. Why does it always amaze me so? I don't know, but the truth is that it does.
Reader Comments (7)
It's not "screwing them up." It's preparing them to cope with life and all its little disappointments. After all, if we were perfect the world would be awfully hard once they left us. So it's our duty to screw them up just a little.
At least that's MY story. ;)
Glad it all turned out ok in the end.
We all totally screw up our kids. That's the deal, right? But on the up side, we surround ourselves with lots of good influences to balance out our screw ups. I was just thinking the other day about how I'm glad that my husband has a very different way of parenting Harper than I have. Although it dives me nuts sometimes, the fact that she receives input from both of us balances out the bad stuff and reinforces the good stuff. And by the way, you are totally not screwing up your kids and neither am I. It just feels like it sometimes and I can relate to you on that.
Oh, I just love reading your blog. You say all the things that I feel but never share. I feel like I screw up my children all the time. It's nice to know there are others that feel that way too. But I know you are a wonderful mom with wonderful children and I admire you a lot. Anyway, just wanted you to know you make me smile.
You all make my day with your encouragement and solidarity!
You know that everyone has
weeksdays like these, right? Some of us just seem to have more of them than others! You, however, seem to have an ability to see God's grace and redemption in them, which is an encouragement to more people than you probably know.By the way, I have a high protein pancake recipe if you'd like it! It is fantastic and I'm able to eat pancakes without feeling totally yucky!
Peace!
LOVE this post. it is SO my life. i know i'm screwing up my kids...i am a screw up myself afterall. but i take comfort in the fact that only screwed up people see their need for jesus and that he is the one who puts our broken pieces together. so glad to have found you in blogland.
Missy, thanks for stopping by! Your family is pretty amazing...showing His love the way you do! You are right on, too-those who know they are sick seek out the Doctor (and I don't mean the Dr. Pepper...)