Spring Break-It's Not Daytona, People

I have GOT to start taking my camera with me wherever I go, even if it's just to Walmart.  The pictures would have rounded out this post perfectly. 

I left this afternoon in order to get Eliana to sleep, after feeding the kids lunch (where I realized yet again how helpful meal-planning would be if I could only DO IT...I fed my kids Annie's mac 'n' cheese, peaches, and carrots with ranch.  The only thing that wasn't orange was the ranch.  No wonder they looked a little jaundiced this afternoon...).  What I forgot before I left the house is that everyone slept in this morning because we are on Spring Break here and Eliana didn't get up until very late, so that plus the time change made her extraordinarily perky as I drove the regular get-to-sleep route.  She was singing, and shouting out nonsense like,"Mee mo ma!  Mee mo ma!  Mee mo ma!" 

I turned the car around and decided to run some errands instead; there were several things I needed to return to Walmart (Why yes I did just say Walmart, with all three kids in the car.  Somebody slap me.) and I figured I would take those things back and grab a gallon of milk-it would be quick.  Christian was most excited when I revealed my new plan to them all. 

But first I needed to run home and grab a pair of shoes to take back that Michaela did not end up needing; I also wanted to get a pair of shorts and socks for Eliana.  She scraped her knees yesterday and was running around the house with only her diaper and a shirt; pants and band-aids made her scream.

On the way to Walmart I made a last minute decision to stop by Old Navy.  This made Christian even happier.  However, it was on the way, and on the correct side of the Tollway so I pulled into the mall parking garage and found my way to the very top...only I needed to be one floor down, so we circled around and finally reached the store.  I am all about efficiency, you see. 

And speaking of being efficient...it hit me after I left the house and was a good ten minutes up the road that I had indeed grabbed the shoes to return but had forgotten to get anything to put on Eliana's bottom half.  I could waste more time by going home again or keep moving forward.  What did I choose?  You know it.  I was about to take my toddler into Old Navy with nothing on but a diaper and a long-sleeved shirt.  Excellent.

We got out of the car, I strapped her in her stroller, and you know what?  Because of the part of the strap that comes up between the legs, you couldn't even tell she didn't have pants on.  Either that, or you couldn't even tell she had a diaper on.

I hit the jackpot in the store, though!  At least, I found the things I was looking for, and everything was on sale.  I was in there a little longer than I meant to be, but the kids entertained themselves by swinging on the clothing racks and crawling commando style under them until I put a stop to all their fun.  Aren't moms the meanest? 

They actually behaved pretty well, and once we were back in the car I felt pleased that we had made it in and out by 2:30.  We headed on to Walmart, but not before a little surprise for the kids...there is a Steak and Shake over by our Walmart and it was exactly the right time for a half-price shake.  I got shakes for us to share, as well as a little Snack-Pack for me.  I had not eaten a very big lunch.  We hopped across the street and I parked in the Walmart parking lot and ate my food while the rest of the folks in the car sucked down their milkshakes.  I even managed to spill my drink all over my white shirt!  However in the world am I so talented, you may ask.  Especially considering it had a lid and a straw.  I know.  I know.  It astounds a person to learn of my many skills.  Mike is a lucky guy, he is.

Well, it was such a good thing that I had stopped at Old Navy!  I had bought myself a new cute t-shirt.  I put it on over my other spilled-on shirt, and my problem was solved.  I also got Eliana into her stroller and then remembered I had bought a little skirt for her to wear into Walmart.  Because surely I cannot take my child into Walmart without pants on!  Old Navy...no problem; but Walmart?!  Please!  I scooted the skirt up over her knees, quite carefully so as to avoid the boo-boos, and then tried to strap the stroller strap.  I couldn't find the part that comes up in the front.  Oh!  That's because I got it tucked into the skirt when I put it on her while she was sitting in her stroller.  I finally got her situated, and turned my three-ring-circus toward the store.

We hauled our wrong-size garbage cans in (Mike should know better than to send me on a man-errand and I should know better than to go on one) and the return went smoothly.  I quickly checked out the shoe section for sandals but came out empty handed on that mission.  Meanwhile the kids were acting like chimpanzees on speed maniacs, but only within a two-aisle radius.  Maybe milkshakes AFTER Walmart would have been a better idea, hmmm?  I begged of them to hang on a little bit longer; I just needed milk.  I then went to get milk, except I ended up with sippy cups, 4 boxes of pasta, some cheese, some spinach, a bag of lettuce, some chicken, and some hamburger as well.  At least we have food in the fridge for the week.  At the check out the kids were still being a bit wild, and Christian's hands for some reason were filthy.  I told him not to touch anything, not even himself; this is tricky for a seven-year-old and maybe not all-together fair of me to ask of him, but...ewww!  They were seriously dirty.  I told them they were not going to be allowed to come inside when we got home they were being so irritating.

We got in the car and the clock said 3:49.  I thought,"Wow!  I got a lot accomplished and it's still so early."  Then we started home, and after a few minutes I thought to myself,"I never changed the clock in the car!"  Therefore, by the time we arrived at our house, it was almost 5:00.  Nice.  I told the kids that they were going to go ahead and have showers and we'd have an early night.

Oh, the sad faces!  Oh, the moaning!  Oh, the reminding me that I told them they could not come inside!  I looked at the clock again, and decided that it might be good for them to play outside for another thirty minutes or so, since they hadn't really played outside for three or six months.  It's been a cold winter here in Dallas.

I know some of you are just shaking your head at me...if I lived in any of the very northern states I don't know what I would do.  I really don't.

They played outside for a bit, and I herded them in after a while (longer than thirty minutes, but it was still light outside) and got everyone showered.  Dinner went quite smoothly; I have never been happier to open a couple of cans of prepared soup in my life.  They were hungry and content with what I served...who could ask for more than that?

The rest of the evening went along nicely...until I saw the roach sneaking along the wall in my bedroom while I was lying in there with Eliana.  I cannot tell you...I cannot express...I cannot say the very bad words that I wanted to scream at that disgusting and revolting creature that ought to be in the fiery pit of hell. 

Eliana had just fallen asleep and the blechy, nasty thing had turned around and was heading back into the room, which was actually a good thing, since I did not want to chase it all around the house.  I flipped the light on and watched it as it skittered around, looking for a place to die, since THAT'S WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN, SUCKA!!

It went under our bathroom door, and I waited a minute, and then opened the door and watched it a bit more.  I ran to the kitchen and got some wet paper towels (wait till you hear about this trick; I know you are so excited to read this portion of the story) so that I could slap them down on top of the roach and trap it.  It actually works, even though it sounds like a seriously crazy thing to do.  I missed!

I picked up the paper towels to try again, and this time I hit it, and I tried to smash it with a random towel (it was actually a rag towel but it is a long and very stupid and embarrassing story as to what it was doing there, so I am going to leave it at that) that was right next to it.  I was sure that I had destroyed that roach. 

Of course I hadn't.  I moved the towel a little bit and out it scurried, as if it was on its way to meet a friend for lunch and did not want to be late.  That stupid insect wasn't even fazed. 

Watch out when something like this happens.  Hello.  My name is Christina Walker and I am about to transform into the Terminator.  It isn't pretty.  Not at all.

With a growl I grabbed a bottle of disinfecting cleaner, with bleach, and I squirted that dirty little piece of garbage until it was writhing on the floor.  The roach did not know what hit it.  It was surely about to be dead. 

And really, really clean.

I moved Eliana out of the bedroom, of course; I didn't want to terminate my two-year-old.  And I have been double-checking, and triple-checking, and quadruple-checking to see if the bane of my existence was just fooling me and had in fact scurried out of the bathroom and was having a smoke on my bed. 

I did get to talk to my mom via Skype, which was a much better way to end my evening...however I will be sleeping on the couch tonight, and not in my bedroom.  I just can't be sure that another yucky agent of the devil will not be hanging around next to my bedside table.  What if one crawled up on my pillow?!  My hair is standing on end right now.  I might not sleep tonight.  [Insert curse word here.]

Now that this post is outrageously long, and without a single photo, I must go.  I am going to try to distract myself from all this roach business with some laundry and possibly a little 30 Day Shred. 

But probably not the 30 Day Shred, since it is so very late.

I'll have to get back to that tomorrow, along with my determination to stop eating junk and drinking soda.  I don't think much shredding will be occurring around here as long as I am stopping for milkshakes and eating chocolate chip cookies.  (I didn't mention that earlier, did I?  Well, there were cookies today.  It's Spring Break!  It was a treat for the kids!)  Lots of spreading but not so much shredding.

Tomorrow is always a new day, right?

Hope your day was a little less crazy than mine.  I seem to make my own brand of crazy, though, wherever I go...

Comments

[Mindee@ourfrontdoor]

You took your kids to Old Navy and Wal-Mart during nap time and did not self-destruct? AND you had a "smooth return" experience? Oh Christina, God was smiling on you to be sure. I think you get a medal or something!

And I am so sorry about the roach. That's one of the pluses of this miserable climate - it does help keep bugs at bay. I think I've seen maybe three cockroaches in my whole life.

Three is plenty by the way.

[The Lumberjack's Wife]

Hilarious post! Where is your husband? I loved that you took your child in without pants.
Excellent.
:) haha!

[Amy]

I cannot tell you how much I love you right now, roomie! :)

[Aunt Lisa]

Chritina~~I'm sitting here at work reading this post about Walmart/Old Navy and actually LOL!!! The thing I like most about your blogging is that you add the 'extra' details that makes me feel like I'm actually there. The mental picture that I get is totally hilarious....maybe it's because I do know how you are...you are so darn funny~and...let's not forget the whole roach scenerio! I am VERY proud of you for conquering the attack and not giving up...YOU GO GIRL!!
I love you~~it sounds like you all are going well. We're hoping Spring is around the corner here...we're in the 50's during the day...at least it's getting closer!