Where's the Beef?

Tonight I was reminded of how important it is that we (I, in particular) resolve conflicts before going to bed. 

I had tucked Eliana and Christian in with the lights out. I came downstairs in order to finish helping Michaela make some cupcakes (this is a whole different story...stay tuned), and after we were done I heard laughing upstairs. This was mysterious, since the two children up there were already in their own beds and had had their good nights said to them. 

I went up (calmly!) and went to Eliana's room. That is, indeed, where the sillies were. Christian was lying down with her and they were carrying on about something. It's not that they were being totally crazy (believe me, they can be totally crazy), but they were both wide awake and certainly not well on their way to sleepytown. 

I firmly, almost quietly, said,"This is unacceptable." I pointed to Christian and told him to go get in his own bed. I have been letting Eliana sleep with a small lamp on in her room (Side story: She used to go to sleep with the closet light on, but we found out that it is likely not safe to use that light right now (Yay for no fires!) so I switched to a lamp that is tucked around a built-in desk corner.) (Maybe I need to get a nightlight?), but once Christian was gone I turned the light off (there was still light coming in from the hall light) (Seriously? How much light does this child need in order to go to sleep, now that I think about it?!) and told her to close her eyes and go to sleep. I went back down the hallway and could hear Christian crying in his bed. I hesitated and almost walked down the stairs. Instead, I stopped and said,"I'm sorry that you are crying Christian, but you two were already tucked in with the lights out, and it's very late. You need to be in your own bed." He didn't really acknowledge me at that point (well, he may have kicked his feet under his blanket, but I just left him alone). I came down and sat on the couch with my laptop for a few minutes. 

Not long after that, I heard some footsteps on the stairway. From where I was sitting, I could see the bottom two steps that lead into our entryway. There was a flash of dark blue on the bottom step along with a quick swish of blond at the corner of the stairs. A peek. I set my computer down and went to the stairs. At the top of the first set (we have a split-level home) was an upright book, the one I have been reading to him before I turn out the light. I hadn't read tonight because it seemed late and I thought that everyone needed to go to bed ASAP. 

That worked out well. 

I went up the stairs, picked up the book, and went to his room. I turned on the light and sat on the end of his bed. He decided whether or not he wanted to have his head under the covers because the light was bright (he ended up head out). I read his story. It was a making up of sorts.

That's kind of how it goes with Christian and me. He lets me know that he's sorry in some way. Sometimes he will say it. Other times it's an unspoken but clear message. He wants things to be all right. I feel like I'm still learning so much as we go along. Learning how to speak, when to speak, what to say, what not to say. I'm glad I stopped to explain why I had spoken firmly. I don't know why he was crying (it could have been any one of many things: whether he was upset with me, mad that I made him leave Eliana's room, sorry that he had done the wrong thing, sorry that he had been caught), but I really had not wanted to make him do that. When I left this last time, it was a peaceful parting. Better. 

When I leave his room, I usually go to Michaela's room and do a devotion with her. The book I've been reading to Christian is a story about pioneers going west, but it's not a devotional book. I want to look into something like what I have for Michaela, for him. I think it would be good for both of us to end the night on a note like that. I want him to know that I think it's important for him as well as Michaela to have a special time for reading a Scripture passage and a lesson on it. Not that we've never done that...it's that we need to get back to it. I'd like to find one that is a little meaty. That's what I'm headed to check on now.