He Is Jealous For Me
Sunday, October 7, 2012 at 7:11PM I have written several posts in my head today. I don't think any of them were related to another. I have all these different things to say, with no one in particular to say them to. I have thoughts racing through my head so much of the time, yet I forget the important stuff. It's frustrating. I truly feel like I am that little cartoon person that is in the middle of a conversation and all of a sudden says,"Oooh! Look, a bird!"
I will likely be ducking, if it's a bird, but...what was I saying?
I've been singing a song in my head all day that we sang in church, "He is jealous for me..." The chorus goes,"Oh, how he loves us, oh, how he loves us, oh, how he loves us all." It looks ridiculous just written out like that, but in the song it's lovely. Very stick-in-your-headable. I've been thinking about those words all day, what that means that God is jealous for me. What does it mean that he loves like a hurricane (except sometimes in my head the word hurricane inexplicably gets replaced by unicorn, which makes no sense AT ALL and gives you a good look at what my mind is like) or that I bend beneath the weight of his wind and mercy? It feels like that sometimes. This grace, this faithfulness, this redemption, this adoption, this unfathomable love bears down like a great tsunami wave of humbling zeal, and what can we do, what can I do, but bend, bow, lie down to worship and thank him for making us his children.
"He is jealous for me." Oh, that I were worthy of such love. But I guess that's the point...grace isn't about worth. I was talking tonight with a couple, when I went to pick up the kids from choir, and I joked with them about how the folks at church were probably always like,"Oh no, it's the Walkers," because we are...hmmm, well, let's just say there are shenanigans. The woman I was talking with laughed and said,"It's because you're good people!" I laughed too, but I replied,"No, it's because they're good people!" When I thought about it, it came to me: that is the way grace works. We benefit from another's goodness, his ultimate goodness.
"He is jealous for me." It makes my head spin, and my heart ache. Mixed up in that is my sorrow for worshipping other things (and make no mistake, I have given my affections decidedly to other-than-God), as well as my gratitude that he would still come after me. I want to thank him, one day at a time, for his love.
Because "He is jealous for me."
Reader Comments (1)
1) I totally GET IT how "hurricane" becomes "unicorn". Totally.
2) Oh, that I would be worthy, as well.
3) That last paragraph about your head spinning and why? Beautiful. Me too, sister. Me too.