Peace

Make a plan. Go ahead. Try.

But guess what? Life doesn't always go according to one's plans.

We had a very busy day today. It was a good day, a great day at times, and we were able to visit with some dear friends, do some shopping, create some cool things, and have a wonderful dinner together. I knew everyone was tired, especially the kids (who did not get enough sleep last night, or the night before that, either), and I was determined to get them to bed at a very reasonable time tonight in order to help tomorrow morning be less crazy than it might be. (We are going to church in the morning, back in Richmond.) 

It took a while, but all children were bathed and settled in their sleeping places by a little after 9pm. This was a win! 

I had come downstairs, my parents were flipping channels, we were thinking of playing Scrabble, and I was getting into the cookies. 

I heard footsteps on the stairs. I turned to see Michaela coming down with a distraught look on her face,"Christian is throwing up right now!"

No longer winning! Throw up should not happen on vacation. Did no one tell him that?

I hurried up the stairs, and poor thing, he was standing there on his way to the bathroom, but he just hadn't made it. It wasn't terrible, but it was on the carpet. I got him in the shower and went to the front office of the place we are staying and told them what had happened. They said they didn't really have anything to clean it up, but handed me some extra towels and laundry detergent.

Say what?! I thought for sure they would have some sort of method for taking care of pukey carpets! A steam cleaner? Something...

I took the stuff they gave me and came back to our unit; I did the best I could. Then I drove up to the Target that is five minutes away and got some odor remover (it's for pet stains and odors...I thought that might do the trick). I moved all the kids out of the room they were in, for the smell of the cleaner was strong. At least one of them is asleep now, but this is not the evening I had planned.

I can make plans. I can have the best intentions. But things don't always go my way. I am not in control, not one bit, really. Sometimes it seems like I am in control, and I believe it's good to make a plan (don't tell Mike I said that!) but we also need to be prepared for the curve balls.

I am not so good with the curve balls, y'all. I huff. I puff. I fuss. I whine. I growl. I stomp. I curse. I sigh. 

And tonight on the way back from Target, I cried. I prayed,"Thank you, God, for..." and then I burst into sporadic, weird tears, confused tears that didn't even really know why they were falling. I was thankful for a place to go when I needed emergency cleaning supplies. I was thankful that Christian was okay, and that his throwing up was not related to a contagious sickness, but a coughing issue. I was sad that this might be a new normal for him and for us. (This is likely me being dramatic. It happens sometimes.) (I found out just before we left (I took him to the doctor for this persistent cough) that he had developed a viral infection in his lungs, and the doctor prescribed an inhaler, but it seemed indefinite how long he was supposed to be on this inhaler.) I momentarily felt frightened, because of several what-if scenarios that suddenly played through my mind. 

But in the end, it's all out of my hands. I can try to be prepared. I can have the inhalers for Christian. I can clean up the messes as best as I can. But there is no way to know just what is going to happen. And some things I have to let go. There is more behind this post than only what I've posted, things about me that are deep-rooted control issues, parenting issues, personality issues. I know there are much bigger stresses people are dealing with in the world than a surprise puke before bedtime. And in addition to my prayers before, there is this one: that the Lord bless all those parents or caretakers who have a child or children with chronic issues, life-threatening issues, or who are looking at a terminal illness. I don't really have words to express my heartache at these things, and I hope that's where the Spirit steps in on my, and your, behalf..."The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace."

Peace.

Comments

[Mindee@ourfrontdoor]

Well . . . I hate to say this, but when my kids were that age, one of the things we could count on is that one of them would throw up if we were on vacation. I kid you not, every. single. trip for YEARS involved vomit. It was the darndest thing.

I'm SO glad he was not contagious though I'm sorry about the lung thing. It's always something with kids, isn't it?