Rerouting

Last night, around 3:30, I was awake. My stomach, or abdomen area, was cramping. I felt a little sick, but in a strange way that I've never really felt before. I broke out into a cold sweat, but it was short-lived. I went to the bathroom, hoping that that would help with the weird pains. It didn't. I lay back down and tried to go back to sleep. 

Before I did go back to sleep, though, I sent an email to a friend that I was supposed to meet this morning. It was not just a for-fun get-together. (Back story: The girls are in a class that meets once a week. They are learning a lot of facts in six different categories, as well as a history timeline that starts at Creation and ends with September 11, 2001. At the end of the school year (24 weeks for this class) the students have the opportunity to recite all of the facts from memory to demonstrate that they have mastered the material. The director of our particular campus put together a "proofing test run" for this morning. I had volunteered to help with asking the questions for one of the categories.) Since I was supposed to be helping out, I felt like I needed to let my friend know that I might not be able to make it. I didn't know what was going on with my tummy.

Once the morning arrived (and let me tell you, 7:15 was all too close to 3:30, as well as 3:46, and 3:57, and 4:15), I still felt a wee bit strange. I called my friend and told her that I was having issues and would not be able to come (even though I didn't want to leave her in the lurch). She assured me that they would figure it out, make it work, and that I should not come if it was not best for me and the girls. 

Well. I got off the phone, and lay back down. Eliana was eating breakfast. I thought I would just doze for a few minutes, just rest since I was so tired. My stomach had stopped feeling so wholly odd. (And a weird kind of gassy. There. I said it.) A few minutes later Mike called to remind me that I needed to get up and get going so as not to be late. I had not told him that I wasn't planning on going. And at this point, I didn't say anything about it, because the truth is, now I was waffling.

I had to ask myself the question,"Why do you not want to go?" The answers I came up with were not surprising. But they were embarrassing. I did not want to go out and be in a public place with all the germs. Eliana would be playing in an indoor fort area. This was wreaking havoc on my insides. (Although, I do not think this anxiety was related to my stomach problem. That seemed food related. But this is a mystery, since I ate the same food as the kids for dinner and no one else had a problem.) I also was just plain tired. And when I had first woken up, I did still feel queasy-ish. But...if I were being honest, I would have to say that by then it wasn't as bad as it had been, and certainly not as bad as in the middle of the night. 

I can tell you that there is one time in my life when I truly thought I heard God saying something to me. When Christian's first grade teacher was looking for a volunteer to take on the class quilting project (a weekly committment and one that would take me WAY out of my comfort zone) (read: my house), I clearly heard a voice in my head say,"That's your job." So, there was no way I could not take it. And in a very similar manner, this morning I heard a voice say,"Get up and get out that door, and stop being a lame friend."

I would not have thought that the Holy Spirit would use the word lame. But there it was. And it was true. I was looking for excuses. I was willing myself to feel worse instead of better! 

This voice? It was kind. But it was firm. I threw off the covers and stuck my feet off the bed. Walked to the bathroom (okay, I shuffled). Once I got my contacts in, the rest was much easier. And I told the girls that we had to hurry, since I had waffled so long; I was afraid we'd be late.

Do you know that I was the first person there besides my friend? And people think that God doesn't have a sense of humor. 

I helped test the kids (and was so impressed...they have learned a great deal and have a lot to show for it) and we left around lunchtime. While I did have a few twingy cramps, nothing happened that should have kept me in bed, and I'm very glad I went. It was good for Michaela to go over the facts with someone other than myself, and to prepare for the final proofing sessions (there are three, and by the third the student must know every fact). I enjoyed being with the other moms, laughing a little, and watching the kids run around having a blast. (I didn't even keel over when I discovered Eliana hiding under a small stairway platform...even though thinking about it thoroughly grosses me out) (I won't lie...I did change her clothes when we got home) (I can't help it). 

Why share this? I don't know, except to say...I keep feeling those nudges. They may seem like small ones, and some of them are, but some are bigger and they are all in the same direction. 

A new one.