Discipline

Take a minute to read those words by Dallas Willard. They brought me to tears, particularly the second paragraph.

At the end of a day in which I have felt quite despairing, and used that exact word somewhere else earlier, and after half a lifetime of knowing these ideas of putting into practice my confidence in him and learning to do better what he would have me do to be true, I can't but be certain that God is speaking to me right now. Even when I'm staying up too late, which I know I shouldn't do. Maybe it's because I'm doing something I shouldn't. He is coming after me.

I seem to be running away always, even when I try to say I'm not. How does one become disciplined who has never been disciplined? Is it a matter of practice? Will? Mine or his? Will he help me? Oh, Lord, please help me. Amen.