The Fine Line

As I drove around today, I noticed flags flying at half-staff as a remembrance of the 9-11 attacks. I fought back tears remembering, indeed. I'll never forget walking out of the bedroom that morning carrying eight-month-old Michaela, sleepy (myself) from nursing her through the night, but smiling, I think. Mike had the TV on, and he turned to me and said,"Something really bad has happened."

We sat and watched the coverage as the horrors continued to happen right before our eyes; we were about an hour away from New York, and Mike's brother was living in the city at the time. It took a long time to get in touch with him, but Mike was able to at some point.

The memory of those moments comes rushing back easily every year on the anniversary. Remembering brings me to a place with which I am quite familiar: the fine line.

While living in this busted-up world where the circumstances of my life threaten to wear me out, run me down, devastate and defeat me, I forget.

Focused on the wrong things, I worry and plan, or worry and want to give up, because I forget.

I find myself on a tightrope, shaking and losing my balance because I forget.

There is this line. During life here, both this side of the Cross and this side of eternity, this in-between time, this waiting time, I'm walking a fine line. Considering the brokenness of the world leaves me tottering on what seems like the edge of a precipice. On one side is a drop, straight down into darkness, and what appears to be chaos. But on my other side, is solid ground, a rock, firm, and stable; I just need to step calmly, confidently, because I know it's there.

Many things in this life I should never forget, but this? Is one of the most important. Knowing this, remembering this, makes all the other things worth remembering too, because He does not forget, nor does He forsake.

Psalm 18:1, 2, 16-18, 30-32, 36

I love you, LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
As for God, his way is perfect:
The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the LORD?
And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength
and keeps my way secure.
You provide a broad path for my feet, so that my ankles do not give way.