Reflections

Well, this blog could look like many different things.  It is a family blog, so we will share what's going on with the five of us, the milestones reached, the new experiences we're having, soccer pics.  But being me and all, I can't help but share the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Oh, don't worry, I won't put too many pictures of myself up.  Just kidding.  Seriously, for me, struggling through a day (or a week or whatever) is something that affects every part of my life, every relationship, decision, thought.  This week our family had some great days, as far as getting along, getting schoolwork done, having a good time.  There were also a couple of major meltdowns.  Well, what family doesn't experience those?  I know that's true.  This morning would fit into the "ugly" category.     Christian and I got off to a rough start, and that is actually quite an understatement.  I'm still processing the whole thing.  There are times when patience comes from a supernatural source and it's undeniable.  Then there are "this mornings".  What happens at times like that?  I think that the amount of sleep one gets is surely a factor, but the more important thing is one's spiritual maturity.  And I know that right now I feel as wobbly as Eliana is on her feet.  Oh sure, she can get herself up and take lots of steps, but she sways all over the place.  She's not so stable and sooner or later gravity pulls her plump little bottom smack down on the floor.  She always lands in such a cute way, with her legs crossed in front of her.  Too bad the gravity pulling me down is the seriousness of my own flaws-lack of self-control and patience in particular.  And the landing is not nearly as cute.  But maybe it is where I should be, flat on my face.  Eliana is not going to walk well until she has gone many miles on those tiny feet.  And the lesson for me in that is that I, too, will not walk well until I have put in the miles.  I think I'll go get my running shoes on...

Time

Well, no photos this time, but I did want to share something.  Tonight I was tucking in the older kids and they both wanted me to lie down with them for a little bit.  Christian especially, and he seemed so tired and upset that I wasn't going to (because I really wanted to get started on some other things) that I actually decided to get in between the two of them at least until he went on to sleep.  I was lying there and I said to myself something to the effect of thinking how I could otherwise be spending my time, more productively.  And then I said to myself, as Michaela's arm was tucked in mine and Christian's hands held mine, how could I spend my time any more productively than that?  And I smiled and decided to cherish the moment.  One day I'll wish with all my heart that they want to snuggle like that.  Or maybe I won't have to wish, maybe they still will.