Home is Hard Sometimes
Sunday, May 2, 2010 at 8:50PM There is always the adjustment you have to make when you return from a trip, whether it's brief or longer. The last two weeks, and longer really, have been a little crazy. Mike is teaching a class every other week in another town, and so several weeks ago he was gone overnight. Then I left town for four days. The following weekend he headed out of town again, and Christian did too, with his class on an unofficial field trip to the state Capitol. In the state capital, Austin. How confusing is that spelling?
At any rate, we are all home again, and have all been trying to adjust to it.
Eliana certainly feels it when Mike is gone, but having me gone for several days like that was a pretty big deal for her. She did fine, and was happy, but once I was home she glued herself to my underarm for a few days. It was hard to put on a shirt or go to the bathroom for a while.
Michaela and Christian deal with that kind of thing differently since they are older, although they did want to be closer to me those first couple of days after my return. They are the same way when Mike comes back from a trip or spending a lot of time in the office. They can't get close enough.
Then there is the slap of reality: the daily dirty dishes, making meals (or whatever you want to call what we eat), doing laundry, sweeping floors, cleaning toilets, putting away toys (or kicking them to the wall so no one trips on them in the middle of the night). That is the hardest for me...getting used to being home and having so much to do. I don't even do that good of a job normally, and it seems like so much. I've said this before, but our house is kind of a wreck. I like to blame it on all the moves we've made, without having time (or in the case of the last one, not using the time wisely) to pack carefully and unpack carefully. Things are thrown willy-nilly everywhere. It's hard to recover from that. And contrary to what some people might think about me, I don't like all the disaster around me.
I was lying down with Eliana tonight, feeling aggravated about all the things that are in my control but I have a hard time reining in. It does come down to choices. I get that. But, then I don't make the choices that I should. I don't behave like a 35-year-old wife and mother ought to behave. I'm like a rebellious teenager.
I'm grounded!
I wish I could ground myself, but...that's kind of hard to do. I can't believe it's May already. I'll tell you something. I quit exercising. I started drinking soda again. It's such a battle! I wanted to start the good stuff back up tonight. Give it 30 days, starting today. That would take me through the end of the month...and hopefully get me going in the direction of a new habit. A better one. It's a mid-year resolution.
I am rebellious, you know.
So, I have had a hard time getting back to the real world. But! I know that it can happen. And that I can be content. I have to choose to be. May the Lord grant me that contentment...it can come from no other place.
Not even chocolate cake or a Dr. Pepper.
Plus, if I weren't around, I'd miss things like this...
Talk about not wanting to miss out on something meaningful.
I still have to do the dishes, though. (Insert smile here.)
Reader Comments (7)
I know what you mean. I am totally a rebel, too. I say we have to spice things up a bit for a time, and then we have to kick our own hineys back into gear.
We have been SICK all weekend. So frustrating. I just want everyone to go back to normal. My poor husband is really bad, but he will never take days off (no paid days off, so he hates to do it)
Anyways . . . hopefully that will all end soon.
I am addicted to soda too, but luckily I love dt pepsi. Don't think it is the best choice, but at least no calories, I guess.
Speaking of calories, my main man is off to get ice cream for our sore throats. What a guy! Sick as a dog and all, still off to get me something so I can feel better.
What would we do without our men?
This comment is as long as a comment you would leave on my blog.
Alright.
I'm done now.
Have fun with the dishes.
Bye.
I think it's having kids that does it, not age or anything else. Before I had my boy, I had life all figured out. I had worked for FedEx for 13 years, I had great vacation and benefits, I knew what I was doing. I had my friends, we went out on weekends and had fun. Hubby and I had plans for retirement, for travel; I was just in the process of booking a cruise to Alaska when I found out that I would have a baby just before my 40th birthday. And even after having my boy, I still kept things firmly in line, until the past couple of years. Volunteering... at church, at school, at Cub Scouts; teaching preschool for several years... they all added up to "stuff" everywhere. Stuff that paralyzes me. I love to travel.. to go somewhere that doesn't have "stuff". I keep telling my husband that I want him to rent a dumpster for my birthday present. And I really, really do! I completely understand this post....
Sounds like we all feel your pain Christina!! It's easy to be grounded when you only have yourself to take care of! I remember being single and I only had myself to pick up after, only my laundry to do, only my dirty dishes, only my meals to cook (if I felt like it....) However, what joy my children bring me. I get fixated on the frustrations though and not the joys. I am TERRIBLE at that!! I tend to only see a dirty house and laundry and not enough smiling faces and grubby hands that want to hug. Reality can be harsh, but it does has some pretty cool benefits too! You're not alone feeling this way.....we all do!
As for the soda and exercising....
I had pretty much given up my pop and lately I've been chugging it again. I do feel so much better when I'm not downing that stuff, why do I do it? I don't know! I think I am just a REALLY slow learner! Thank goodness, God is patient!!!
Have a great day....got some dishes of my own to tend to! Ha!
Upon returning home from vacation I've often wondered if the letdown and laundry are worth it. Probably, but . . .
And Christina? Please don't grow up. I like you the way you are. :)
Dude. You are not alone. My house is now (and almost always is) winning the battle against me. The laundry...forget it. The floors....yikes! The showers....too embarrased to say. Remember our room in school? OMG! That was beyond ridiculous, but you must know that our houses probably are similar to each other as is our attitudes towards chores. Yes. I know I should. Most mornings I make mental notes to do this or that. Most evenings I come up with hundreds of better things to do. LOL! Tonight, I must fold 5,000 loads of laundry. Seriously. I have to. :)
Tina, I read your posts and smile. I know you like Tony Campolo. Maybe this will help you know how important you really are.
The Most Important Job in the World
Dr. Tony Campolo is a well-known and highly-respected, inspirational speaker. Over the last several years, Tony Campolo has spent much of his time traveling around the world on speaking tours.
Meanwhile, his wife, Peggy, has chosen to stay home and give herself and all that she has to the "Bringing Up" of their two children, Bart and Lisa. On those rare occasions when Peggy does travel with Tony, she finds herself engaged in conversations with some of the most accomplished, impressive, influential, sophisticated people in the world.
After one such trip, Peggy told Tony that sometimes as she visits with these powerful people… she finds herself feeling intimidated and sometimes even questioning her own self-worth. Tony said to her: "Well, honey, why don't you come up with something you could say when you meet people that will let them know that you strongly value what you do and you feel that it is dramatically, urgent and crucial and important.
Well, not long after that, Tony and Peggy Campolo were at a party… when a woman said to Peggy in a rather condescending tone, "Well, my dear, what do you do?" Tony Campolo heard his wife say:
"I am nurturing two Homo Sapiens into the dominant values of the Judaeo-Christian tradition in order that they might become instruments for the transformation of the social order into the kind of eschatological utopia God envisioned from the beginning of time."
And the other woman said:
"O, my, I'm just a lawyer."
I like that story because it reminds us that there are a lot of important jobs in the world today but not one of them is more important than the job of being a mother.
Tony Campolo adapted by James Moore, Collected Sermons
Thank you, everyone.