It's So Obvious, and I Still Miss It
Saturday, November 3, 2012 at 10:08PM Once, I couldn't find a recipe and it pretty much wrecked my whole day.
Except for the recipe, today was very similar to that day. Attitude? Horrible. Anger? Volcanic. Apathy? Heavy.
The lesson that I learned on that day of the elusive recipe is that there is a place to go when those days come. Actually, there is a place to go before those days come, a place that had you been frequenting, the days would not have come quite so fiercely, or so intensely. And maybe you would have been a little more equipped to deal with the obstacles, both internal and external, on that day that drew you out until you were unhinged.
I know something is true about myself. This is it: I want to escape.
Once, not too long ago (a little over a year), I realized that my escape was the internet. I read blogs, and I messed around on Facebook, but almost to the point that my real life, my everyday-kids-school-husband-dinner-laundry life, became less important than the stories I was investing my time in on the Web. That's just wrong. I took a hiatus for a while, and didn't blog for a summer or so, because I thought that if I eliminated the bad thing, I would choose the good thing again.
Slowly, I have found myself in a similar spot. I get on the computer first thing, and it's on my lap all day. And then it's on my lap into the night. The house is a mess, I'm behind on laundry, it's harder to get the girls' work done, and I'm not inclined to take care of little things like getting dinner ready in a timely manner.
It's ironic, and a little heartbreaking, that I have this need to connect with people by reading blogs and leaving comments, or by posting silly stories on Facebook and commenting on other people's posts there, but there are four folks right here in this house with whom I can and ought to connect every day in meaningful ways. Things are certainly better than they were during that season a while back. But I know myself, and I know that I need to start making some better choices each day. From how much time I spend on the computer to the stuff I'm putting in my body, I need to make some better choices.
And just like I found out on that night years and years ago, the first place I need to head is to the Word of God. (If you haven't read the story, you should...it's a good one.) I know my "heavy-laden" doesn't compare to some of the other burdens in the world right now, from the impact of Sandy the Storm from Haiti to the Northeast, to child trafficking and war and starvation all over the place, but still...Jesus says to come to him.
I'm going to try to limit my computer time each day. There are things, and, more importantly, people which demand in the best way possible my attention from the time the alarm goes off in the morning until the last cover is pulled up and the final light is turned out. What a miracle that I get to start over tomorrow.
And I get an extra hour on top of that?! Maybe this back room will get picked up tonight after all...
Reader Comments (3)
You can do it. Computer (unlike chocolate) is one of those things that when you give it up, you find you don't miss it. In fact, you'll find you like life better.
Go Christina!
Aw, Christina, this bit here: "Actually, there is a place to go before those days come, a place that had you been frequenting, the days would not have come quite so fiercely, or so intensely. And maybe you would have been a little more equipped to deal with the obstacles, " was beautiful. I actually wrote it down on a notecard and put it on my computer table. I hear this. I get this.
I totally hear ya. And on that note, can we be FB friends? :o)