Making an Effort
Thursday, February 9, 2012 at 8:43PM I know my brain is struggling when I have to look up whether or not to capitalize "an" in a title.
My initial hunch was correct. I think. Actually, at this point I can't even remember what I thought I ought to write.
I can tell this is going to be a good one. You're probably wondering,"Is she making an effort at a blog post? She should try again. Tomorrow."
Here is the back story for the actual post...I used to be quite thin. I thought for a long time,"Things will not change! This is the way I will look forever!" Then I started drinking a lot of soda, and eating a lot of sweet things (I also call this self-medicating with sugar) and my body decided to show me that, actually? Things will change! That thin self is not the way I will look forever! At least when you take in so many liquid calories (of sugar) in a day that it is like having an extra meal. On top of the three meals and several (unhealthy) snacks that you have already.
What I'm saying is I've been a very bad girl. And now I'm paying for it.
Most people would look at me and say,"What are you talking about?! You look fine!" And that may be true. But! I know my own body, and I recognize the changes that have occured. They are significant enough that I am uncomfortable a lot of the time (and not just "in my own skin"...really uncomfortable), and sometimes the extra weight hurts (particularly in my belly).
On Tuesday I took the kids to the symphony. We were supposed to dress up. I don't have a lot of nice clothes that fit anymore. I put on a skirt that I wore several years ago (five, maybe), which sat on my hip bones when I bought it. This is how I wore most of my pants and skirts...below my bellybutton. This past week that skirt that I used to wear down on my hips? In order to zip it, the waist of the skirt was a good two and a half inches ABOVE my bellybutton. I wore my coat the entire time we were out in order to hide the giant puff just above my behind where the skirt wasn't falling in the right place, because, well, it WASN'T IN THE RIGHT PLACE!
I got on the exercise bike that night. And I haven't had soda since then (oops, that's not totally true...I split a cream soda from Whole Foods with Michaela, but I didn't finish my portion and it didn't have high fructose corn syrup, so...a little better?) and I walked yesterday after I took Christian to school.
Now. I may not ever be as small as I was five years ago. And I know I have to be okay with that. But I really do need to get healthy. The gaining weight thing is a slippery slope, and I can see that. It might start with ten pounds, but ten pounds every two years is going to land me in a place that will be even harder to get out of. I have been trying, the last couple of days, to watch how many calories I take in (loosely speaking, I'm not really counting calories, but trying to have smaller portions in general). I figure cutting out two to three Pepsis a day (or almost 500 calories!!) should be a good start, and I can gradually eat less, more frequently. I think taking soda out of my diet and starting to exercise will go a long way as far as getting rid of some of my newly acquired...area.
It really is a shame that it accumulates everywhere except where I could use some extra weight. Oh well. I better go hop on the bike tonight because I don't want to miss a day already. I feel motivated to do this, so I think I need to jump on the horse before it takes off without me.
I also need to work on some good analogies.
Reader Comments (4)
I've been on and off that horse so many times that I have no advice to offer except this: Don't be like me and you'll be fine. :)
That sounds like a great place to start! And kudos on the exersizing!
Ugh. Weight is SUCH a horrible thing to have to deal with. I have been up and down so many times I'm surprised I don't have whiplash.
I love this whole paragraph - it made me giggle: "You're probably wondering,"Is she making an effort at a blog post? She should try again. Tomorrow." "
We are going to make it, aren't we? YES. YES WE ARE!