X, Y, Z (X-amine Your Zig-Zag, As In Train of Thought...)
Saturday, June 8, 2013 at 11:37PM My mind is all over the place.
ALL OVER THE PLACE, I TELL YOU!
The house and I have reached a stalemate. Not really, but I am at a point where I need to do x in order to finish y and then I'll be able to do z. I should probably use different letters, like l, m, and n because I'm not really near the end of the whole process and x, y, z indicates some finality that is just not accurate.
Sorry.
I need to decide if I have the time to tackle big rearranging tasks. Mike and I are going to Turkey soon, you see.
Do you like how I just threw that out there?
Mike and I are going on a trip all the way across the world to the country of Turkey. And Greece, because when you're that close to Athens, it would be irresponsible not to swing by.
I'm nervous-talking. Can you tell? I'm babbling because I don't know how to speak coherently yet about this trip. Instead of babbling, I ought to pray. I need to thank the Lord for such a blessed opportunity. The trip includes visits to many important first-century Christian landmarks. We will be traveling with some phenomenal people as well. It is quite humbling to be included on such a journey.
Who am I, who are we, that we have been so blessed?
This is a question that I have wrestled with for a long time. I attended InterVarsity's Urbana conference in college, and when I sat for the first time in the auditorium with so many other believers who were worshipping all together like that, it was a moment to remember. Speaker after speaker shared with us about missions: their own experiences; the need for healing in the world, both spiritual and physical; the suffering that we are called to bear with others in Christ's name. As I sat with a wrenched heart (There are so many people! There is so much pain! Where does one start?!), I thought questions along the lines of,"Why am I me, and why was I born when and where I was born? How is that fair? What does it all mean? Why was I NOT born in a small war-torn village with parents/a parent/grandparents who cannot afford to feed me, and where fear is more common than anything else?" I distinctly remember, as I sat thinking those thoughts, the speaker at the time said,"To whom much is given, much is expected." I don't remember another thing. But that sentence seemed so straightly to answer the questions that I was agonizing over in light of the stories and pictures we had heard and seen that it was like a bolt of lightning crashed down onto the top of my head.
Now, I can't lie and say that from that point on, the road was clear for me, and I knew just what I was supposed to do as one who had been given much so that I could be the hands and feet of the Lord in order to help those who are suffering. And the fact is that this post has taken a surprising and unexpected turn tonight, so much so that I will not even be able to address here and now all the things that my subconscious is apparently still wrestling with seventeen years later. I guess the point I started out to make is that if when there is any blessing in my life, I need to figure out how to turn that around for God's glory and for others' good.
I'm going to do that with this trip. I have no doubt that it can grow Mike's and my relationship, for starters. I hope that I can bring back wisdom and perspective that will help in the teaching of our kids. I pray that as I see the places that the apostle Paul traveled through, and the areas that were affected by his letters in those early days of the Church, I will grow in my own understanding of what it means to live a life that is changed by the gospel, and in such a way that I can't help but be on a mission.
Sometimes that mission might be expressly talking about the love of God and the grace that he offers through his son Jesus Christ. And sometimes that mission might be taking what I know to be true about my Creator and Savior and living each day in grateful joy and contentment, even as I determine where in the world (or just in my house) to put each piece of paper and toy and game and shoe. Each mission comes with its own difficulties and rewards. And are not exclusive, when I think about it.
Did I seriously start this off by talking about the state of our house? All over the place. Did I not tell you? You were warned. That's all I have to say about that.
Reader Comments (1)
AAAAAAAAaaaaaahhhh! You get to go on a fabulous trip! I am SO excited for you. Seriously. This will be a life changer in so many good ways. Exciting!