Losing and Winning

Losing-as in my marbles.

Winning-as in Michaela's first soccer game of the season.

They did such a good job.  Unfortunately, we arrived a little late.  That would be because of line number 1 up there.  Christian and Michaela both had soccer this morning at 9 am.  He, practice; she, a game.  Well, I went to bed last night (after an event over at the church at which they stayed late and therefore got to bed around 9:45) thinking,"So nice that we don't have to get up early tomorrow, no alarm to set for 7:30.  Aahhh!" 

Everyone was up by 8:15 or so, had breakfast, and began playing and just hanging out.  I went to do something (back to line number 1, I have no idea what it was) and glanced at the clock: 9:09.  "OOHHH NOOO!  YOU GUYS HAVE SOCCER!  HURRY, HURRY, GET YOUR STUFF ON, WE HAVE TO GO, NOW!"  Well, since now everyone thought the house was on fire, and Christian was asking why I scared him and Michaela was throwing her Pink Panthers uniform on the floor and telling me,"No, Maroon Strikers!", and Eliana was chanting,"Shoezon, shoezon?" our morning was off to an excellent start.  All I needed was the William Tell overture playing in the background. 

I raced around getting clothes, and shin guards, and cleats, and they got water bottles, and who has the baby?  We managed to get everyone in the car and arrive at the soccer fields at 9:21.  And I didn't speed, either.  I am a law-abiding citizen. 

Michaela was able to play the second half of the game, and Christian got in plenty of practice.  Later, I apologized to them for forgetting their soccer this morning, and promised to give them all the dessert they wanted for the rest of the day.  I didn't really do that.  I did tell them I was sorry, but they just had their normal amount of junk today.  What kind of mother do you think I am?

It was great fun to watch the girls' team.  They played so well together.  They were passing the ball, booting it down the field, blocking the opponents' shots, and going for goals from further away with more confidence than last season.  This season is going to be a kick to watch, because I think they'll just get better.  Why yes, I did mean to be such a dork, and write "kick" in that sentence.

I peeked at Christian every few minutes and noticed him doing a good job across the street.  Michaela's game just happened to be at the same time and on the same school's fields as his practice.  How convenient for me!  Especially on a day like today.  He has good control over the ball, and I could see him during the drills, dribbling away, practicing shooting into the goal.  And then, his favorite thing, they had a scrimmage game-shirts and skins.  He always manages to be on the skins' team.  Even as little boys, they love to lose the shirt and strut.  What will he be like when he's 14?  17?  Oh my.  Let's not skip ahead that far, eh?  Are you trying to give me a heart attack?

Tomorrow is the start of a new week.  I am looking forward to a fresh start.  Marbles, you may roll hither and yon, under all manner of furniture, and disappear into an abyss of giant dustballs and long-forgotten toys and socks, but know that one day I will find you because we are moving and the furniture will be relocated and everything will be cleaned up and returned to its rightful place. 

Here Is...

Eliana when I say,"Smile!"

and, all the furniture in our new house...

Can you see it?  I needed something to set keys on and stuff.  So, I know that that space is too big for this little table, but I also know it is too small for our coat bench.  Maybe a coat rack?  Do people have coat racks anymore?

Can I just say moving is hard?  It's hard to get things ready to go over there.  It's hard to get the place ready for our things.  It's hard to think about starting over, again, even if it is just around the corner (there is still organizing, figuring out where things ought to go, how furniture will fit, where will we keep our luggage, how about the Christmas stuff).  I am excited to be in this new house, but I don't like change.  Change makes me want to cry.  It makes me feel hormonal and weird and anxious. 

Paul says to the Christians in Philippi:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:4-9

"Do not be anxious about anything..."  Maybe I should memorize this verse, chant it, write it on my forehead.  "...if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things."  This part too.  Pretty good stuff (no surprise there).  I was ranting earlier about how stupid things happen to me (or, more accurately, I cause stupid things to happen) each minute of the day, which makes me mad and frustrated.  The response was that, no, stupid things weren't happening each minute, but I was thinking about the two stupid things that did happen each minute instead of just letting them go.  That is true.  I wish it weren't true.  Can I get to the point where it's not true?  Ah!  Paul says to think about things that are true...true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable...here is a place to start.  I will think,"I need to let that go."  I will tell myself,"I need to let it go that it is 10:26 p.m. and there are fools folks out there honking their horns like Brazil just won the World Cup again, while my baby girl is trying to sleep after not taking a nap today (what is up with that?!)."  I will let that go.  (Deep breath)  Ahhh.

I really would like to get to this place, this place of peace.  I am always all riled up inside.  That cannot be good for my inside, or my outside, or those who are on any side.  I need that peace, guarding my heart, that soldier marching, that sentry shielding the bad, blocking the ornery, wielding a sword at the enemy (even if it is myself!).  The promise is that the God of peace will be with me.  That is no small thing...

On My Mind Today

There are several things I'm thinking about today...

Some of them are close to home: our imaginary move; homeschool stuff; is anyone else going to be sick and what made Eliana throw up last night; Mike and his work.

Some of them are not so close to home, but feel close in my heart.  There are so many people that are hurting: my parents know many folks who have lost jobs; there are families who are falling apart; there are people fighting against diseases that rob them of moments, days, weeks, and years of life with the people they love; and there are so many who are missing someone special because they're gone much too soon.

Several weeks ago I shared about a little girl and her family who have deeply touched me; they are an amazing example of how God works through devastating circumstances to bring glory to His name, advance His kingdom, and care for His people.  Some A lot of how He does this is a complete mystery, we don't understand His ways.  But to be able to see His goodness in spite of the brokenness in this world is such a...victorious, triumphant blessing.  Today is this little girl's birthday, her name is Cora Paige, and her family went to celebrate her first birthday at her graveside.  That is so wrong, so not the way it should be.  They do have the hope that we are given in knowing Christ and His resurrection, the truth in the power of His rising from death to life.  They are holding on to the promises that are in God's word, His word which endures forever.  They are inspiring other people, who have been invited into their suffering to help carry this burden, to be more faithful themselves. 

This situation has been a springboard for my thoughts on prayer.  I have been praying for them specifically, as well as other children and their families affected by cancer (unknown by me, but known by our Creator).  I have been praying for many devastating situations all around the world, not in any organized fashion, but maybe that will change and something more organized will take shape. 

I am a bit rambley, and I don't know exactly what I am trying to say.  If you would like to meet this family, you can do so here.   As I collect my thoughts, scattered though they may be, I hope to become an effective pray-er on behalf of people who are hurting, whether they are in my home or far away across the world.  You can pray with and for me!

A Mommy Knows

Eliana ended up having a very long nap this afternoon, so long, in fact, that I went in to wake her up.  I wanted her to go to bed later!  We had a fine rest of the day, went to the playground, dropped Michaela and Christian off at Bible study, then came home and talked with my mom for a bit.  She had some yogurt.

She was rubbing her eyes and yawning all afternoon, and I couldn't shake the feeling that something was up.  I had this feeling of anticipation, or expectancy...but not the kind you want to have.  I put her to bed just before 8:00, thinking it would take a while for her to fall asleep, because of her long, late nap. 

She was out in about five minutes.  Again, I had that feeling, I just knew that something wasn't quite right.

Not even a couple of hours later, she was crying.  I went in right away, because she is never up again that early.  I turned the light on right away (poor girl) and sure enough, right through the mesh of her pack 'n' play, she had thrown up all over.  She was standing there with her fingers in her mouth just boo-hooing, she didn't have a clue what that awful thing that just happened was.  What a sad little sight.

I grabbed a towel (it comes in handy, not putting your clean laundry away, see?) from the basket right next to me and scooped her up, and got everything cleaned up as well as I could.  I wrapped her all up, and laid her down, and then tried to clean up her bed a little.  I bathed her and put on clean clothes and then just held her for a long time.  I talked with my sister-in-law for quite a while; Eliana eventually fell asleep while we were on the phone. 

I knew that she would get sick one day; it's the kind of thing you hope doesn't happen for as long as possible.  Although, I know it helps their immune systems to be strong in order to fight off illnesses in the future, so...this is a positive as far as that goes.  Right?

It's just so pitiful.  She seems okay now, and I hope for a puke-free rest of the night.  (I have a bad feeling about Christian-he's tossing and turning quite a bit.)  At any rate, that little voice inside of me tells me I know my kids.  That is a good feeling.

When Little Soldiers Make Good Choices

While Eliana is asleep I am like the Drill Sergeant of Quiet.  I am constantly "shushing" my two older kids so that our little one can get the rest she needs to carry on through the second half of the day.  

Today is no different, and maybe even more true, because it took her FOREVER to go to sleep, and I would be really sad if she woke up prematurely.  Of course, this is the day when it's 60° outside and they want to play dress-up, or actually they want to dump out all the dress-up clothes and get into the dress-up clothes bin, and they want to do this in the bedroom that is right next to the room where Eliana is sleeping. 

So far, things are fine.  In fact, Christian just came through our computer room (which is nestled in between our kitchen and dining room) and said to me,"We were playing a game, but we were arguing.  So, I stopped the game," hand gesture indicating the stopping of the game, very serious face, head tipped to the side.  "There was a game and if we kept on playing it, we would be arguing, so I said,'Michaela, we are going to stop this game!'"  He looked at me, with a very intense and stern look on his face, knowingly, as if to say,"You get what I'm saying, right?"

I said to him,"Christian, that was a very good choice.  I'm very proud of you.  Thank you."  He smiled and turned around and headed back into the other room.

Moments like that make me want to give him a medal.