The Rookie

On this stormy Saturday evening in Dallas, we had a family movie night. Mike picked the show: The Rookie.

Can you even believe that neither one of us had ever seen this film?

IT'S ABOUT BASEBALL. IT'S BASED ON A TRUE STORY. THE TEXAS RANGERS EVEN SHOW UP IN IT IN THE END.

It was so good. We both loved it, and the kids loved it too. (For the record, Eliana probably could not have cared less that we were watching it, but she hung in there, and cheered when the Rangers were on the field, even though they were not the team that Jimmy Morris was pitching for.) (Jimmy Morris = the guy the movie was about.) 

After the kids were in bed, I asked Mike what he liked about the movie, what made it different than some of the other movies that are out there, especially today, that encourage kids (or people in general) to follow their dreams. This movie is definitely about a dream being realized. But. It is definitely different than the more recent movies that have been released. 

I love asking Mike questions like this, because he's so thoughtful and can put things into words that I can't. He talked about many things, but the ones that stuck out to me were the honest struggle that Jimmy faces within himself regarding his baseball career that didn't go the way he had hoped when he was young and was drafted into the minors, the genuine sense of meaning that he had in his life in spite of the fact that his original dream wasn't realized, and the way he poured himself into others who were in his life, including his family, his science students, and the high school baseball team that he coached, rather than letting bitterness and resentment eat away at him over the years. We also talked about the relationships in the movie, particularly between Jimmy and his parents, who ended up divorced. Jimmy and his dad had a complicated dynamic, and I thought it was great that the movie didn't try to wrap it all up in the end and make it unrealistically tidy. There was, however, a theme of forgiveness, though, and progress and change. 

And Dennis Quaid was fantastic. He came pretty close to breaking the rule: there's no crying in baseball. I confess...I was teary, more than once. 

So if you're looking for a good family flick, this one was a home run. I'm still mulling over a lot of what was in it, and what Mike had to say about it. And I'm also getting more excited every day for this season to start! 

Rerouting

Last night, around 3:30, I was awake. My stomach, or abdomen area, was cramping. I felt a little sick, but in a strange way that I've never really felt before. I broke out into a cold sweat, but it was short-lived. I went to the bathroom, hoping that that would help with the weird pains. It didn't. I lay back down and tried to go back to sleep. 

Before I did go back to sleep, though, I sent an email to a friend that I was supposed to meet this morning. It was not just a for-fun get-together. (Back story: The girls are in a class that meets once a week. They are learning a lot of facts in six different categories, as well as a history timeline that starts at Creation and ends with September 11, 2001. At the end of the school year (24 weeks for this class) the students have the opportunity to recite all of the facts from memory to demonstrate that they have mastered the material. The director of our particular campus put together a "proofing test run" for this morning. I had volunteered to help with asking the questions for one of the categories.) Since I was supposed to be helping out, I felt like I needed to let my friend know that I might not be able to make it. I didn't know what was going on with my tummy.

Once the morning arrived (and let me tell you, 7:15 was all too close to 3:30, as well as 3:46, and 3:57, and 4:15), I still felt a wee bit strange. I called my friend and told her that I was having issues and would not be able to come (even though I didn't want to leave her in the lurch). She assured me that they would figure it out, make it work, and that I should not come if it was not best for me and the girls. 

Well. I got off the phone, and lay back down. Eliana was eating breakfast. I thought I would just doze for a few minutes, just rest since I was so tired. My stomach had stopped feeling so wholly odd. (And a weird kind of gassy. There. I said it.) A few minutes later Mike called to remind me that I needed to get up and get going so as not to be late. I had not told him that I wasn't planning on going. And at this point, I didn't say anything about it, because the truth is, now I was waffling.

I had to ask myself the question,"Why do you not want to go?" The answers I came up with were not surprising. But they were embarrassing. I did not want to go out and be in a public place with all the germs. Eliana would be playing in an indoor fort area. This was wreaking havoc on my insides. (Although, I do not think this anxiety was related to my stomach problem. That seemed food related. But this is a mystery, since I ate the same food as the kids for dinner and no one else had a problem.) I also was just plain tired. And when I had first woken up, I did still feel queasy-ish. But...if I were being honest, I would have to say that by then it wasn't as bad as it had been, and certainly not as bad as in the middle of the night. 

I can tell you that there is one time in my life when I truly thought I heard God saying something to me. When Christian's first grade teacher was looking for a volunteer to take on the class quilting project (a weekly committment and one that would take me WAY out of my comfort zone) (read: my house), I clearly heard a voice in my head say,"That's your job." So, there was no way I could not take it. And in a very similar manner, this morning I heard a voice say,"Get up and get out that door, and stop being a lame friend."

I would not have thought that the Holy Spirit would use the word lame. But there it was. And it was true. I was looking for excuses. I was willing myself to feel worse instead of better! 

This voice? It was kind. But it was firm. I threw off the covers and stuck my feet off the bed. Walked to the bathroom (okay, I shuffled). Once I got my contacts in, the rest was much easier. And I told the girls that we had to hurry, since I had waffled so long; I was afraid we'd be late.

Do you know that I was the first person there besides my friend? And people think that God doesn't have a sense of humor. 

I helped test the kids (and was so impressed...they have learned a great deal and have a lot to show for it) and we left around lunchtime. While I did have a few twingy cramps, nothing happened that should have kept me in bed, and I'm very glad I went. It was good for Michaela to go over the facts with someone other than myself, and to prepare for the final proofing sessions (there are three, and by the third the student must know every fact). I enjoyed being with the other moms, laughing a little, and watching the kids run around having a blast. (I didn't even keel over when I discovered Eliana hiding under a small stairway platform...even though thinking about it thoroughly grosses me out) (I won't lie...I did change her clothes when we got home) (I can't help it). 

Why share this? I don't know, except to say...I keep feeling those nudges. They may seem like small ones, and some of them are, but some are bigger and they are all in the same direction. 

A new one. 

A Moment

Sometimes I look at the kids and I know I'm going to want to remember this moment, just as it is.

The funny things they do...I find myself wanting to laugh out loud and burst into tears at the same time because I realize in an instant how much I love them.

Why pick up a stretchy headband from under the piano (not way under the piano, because that would just be gross) and stick it on like a sweatband? 

I will never know. But I'm so glad she did. I got a little look into her mind. (Not that that little look gave me any answers; it possibly left me with more questions...)

And I wouldn't trade the moment for anything. 

Of Course...

When you have kids, you become accustomed to the unexpected. 

I guess that means that finding glow rings on the ceiling fan (along with the red paper snowflake, of course) should no longer be considered the unexpected. 

Moreover?

It shouldn't surprise me that there is a rolling pin stuck in the shoe rack. (And if you look closely, you can also see a cake pop stick [unused...at least for a cake pop] sticking out of the other tubular hole. Of course.)

And it should surprise no one, at all, that the shoes are beside the shoe rack and not on it. Of course. 

And if children are good for anything, it is definitely creative home decor. Repurposing is their middle name. (Names?) (Whatever.) 

A ribbon on the lamp?

Of course. 

Because why ever not?

Heart-Pounding Joy and Claiming Promises

The thing about reading books like Reordered Love, Reordered Lives, The Meaning of Marriage, Calvin's Institutes, and especially the Bible, is that it is very difficult to read them without being moved to some sort of action.

I'll tell you, it's not always comfortable, either. 

I'm not saying it's a bad thing to get so uncomfortable...but I am saying it's hard to realize that I need to do so many things differently. Please hear what I mean with my "need to do." This is not to say that I must do anything in order to earn something. I know full well, and believe with all that is within me, that there is no earning with God. His love is not ever, nor ever was, nor ever will be based on merit. Not mine, anyway. Rather, he loves me because he loves me. And I can be his daughter because of what Jesus has done, not what I have done (or not done). This is true for each of his children.

So when I say "need to do," what I am getting at is that making certain changes, which seem so very hard to make, will in the end bring greater joy, deeper joy, truer joy, than not making those changes. 

The words of David Naugle, Tim Keller and his wife Kathy, John Calvin, and those who were led by the Lord to write the books we have in Scripture, have all been nudging. Nudging, and prodding, and provoking. But do you know what is amazing? They have not just been pointing an accusatory finger regarding how much I need to change, but have been gently, graciously reminding me, as well, of the promises that the One who never changes has made. 

God's many promises include rest for the weary, justice for the oppressed, love for the forgotten, forgiveness for the repentant, and joy for those who look to him for strength. These are all wonderful and life-giving; these promises make it possible to keep going each day. They all look forward, in hope, to the future when all things will be made new. But the one promise that is really sticking out to me these last few days is the promise of the Holy Spirit. 

The Holy Spirit, who comes and dwells in the hearts of each believer, a great mystery, binding us to our Savior, our brother, our Lord...how can this be?! And yet, the promise is given. He will come and comfort, yes. He will come and help, yes. But first he will come and be the Spirit of truth. Jesus told his disciples on his last night with them that the Spirit,"will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." 

He leaves them with his peace. He tells them not to be afraid. He prays for them, and for us!

How can I read these words and remain unchanged? The changes may seem hard, but in light of what Jesus faced, there is nothing that can be too hard. The Spirit of truth, the Spirit of power, the Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead is the same Spirit that is living in me! 

(I find myself wanting to clap my hands and throw them up in the air! I need a personal praise band.)

We had a guest preacher on Sunday and toward the end of his sermon he said that there was nothing that anyone, ever, had been through or experienced that Jesus himself had not already experienced. Including death. Yet he was victorious over death! Not even death could conquer him! What comfort is there for us! And even more, the life that he has is ours; and because he suffered (and not just on the cross, but throughout his entire life) on our behalf, became like us in our weakness, we gain not only life one day forever, but now! He humbled himself and is now exalted. He takes the humble and lifts them up. His Spirit makes all of this possible, and what seems unimaginable becomes not only imaginable but our reality!

Claim this! Claim this, Christina! Claim this, child of the Father above!