Hope, In a Roundabout Way
Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 6:58PM I feel as though I need to clarify a few things after the previous post.
But I don't want to sound defensive...just explaining where I was coming from. Okay? (See me smiling here.)
It may have sounded like I have a bad case of the wantsies. Anything from the big, fancy house to the whopping diamond. I just wanted to say, and felt like I needed to say, that I don't really want those things. Honestly, when I think back on all the places we've lived, the many different homes including apartments as well as houses, my own happiest time was in the smallest (well, almost the smallest) place we lived. It was an apartment that was probably less than 1000 sq. feet. It seemed so cozy, though. And the most important thing for me when we were in that place was the friends that we had.
I don't want things...I want friends!
Friends and chocolate.
I'm going to buy the 30 Day Shred.
Can this post be any more all over the place?
Wait! It can!
This morning at church we had a special choir come and visit. The Mwangaza Children's Choir sang at several of the services and then gave a free concert after church. They are children that represent the kids in Uganda, both the orphaned and those just struggling to survive because of dire circumstances. There are children who have witnessed first-hand such terrible things that we could never begin to imagine, or personally been through things that are beyond what we could come up with in our own minds. And yet, there they were singing about the hope that is for all the nations, Jesus Christ. The horrors of their own experiences are not stronger than the love of God that they have come to know and cling to.
We sang Hillsong's Stronger in worship today; the chorus goes like this:
You are stronger, You are stronger,
Sin is broken, You have saved me.
It is written, Christ is risen,
Jesus, You are Lord of all.
This last week (longer, really, but at an even greater level recently) I have allowed my mind to get a bit out of control. As if you could be "a bit" out of control...once you are out of control, the results can be disastrous. I have been angry and resentful, full of a crazy mixture of self-pity, self-degradation, pride, and guilt. I am a human being, and as one I am sinful. Very much so. I try to ask God to forgive me, but my trouble lies in then accepting that forgiveness. But if He says He forgives, then who am I to contradict Him? Is He not the Almighty, the all-powerful Creator of the universe, from the biggest star to the tiniest speck of sand. Even Nebuchadnezzer said,"No one can hold back His hand/ Or say to Him,'What have you done?" I am going to accept that He does indeed forgive me, rather than wallow in the (very unproductive) mire and muck of self-loathing. God does not want us to hate ourselves. In fact, this is an affront to Him...He designed us in His image. Shall we hate what has been created in His image?
Here is what I believe: His love and His lordship are stronger than the suffering of the boys and girls who are growing up in war-torn Uganda, and they are stronger than my sin. Christ is risen. And that truly is the hope of all the nations.
some thoughts
Reader Comments (4)
Oh, drat. You reminded me about the 30 day shred. Now I am going to have to start it again.
Truly, I didn't think you cam across as coveting, and I love your all-over-the-placedness. :)
Very vulnerable post. Life can be so challenging sometimes can't it girl? Such a journey.
I was using a Cannon Rebel XSI camera, with an EFS 18-55mm lens. I did most of my shots in either macro or with flash off. (and I know nothing about what I just said, I was just looking at it and repeating back to you what I was looking at. It's all experimental at this point! LOL)
Blessings,
LMM
I love it -- a "bit" out of control! Great line! Also, I didn't take you as a coveting girl in your last post. You were just being honest and vulnerable. That's what I love about your writing. Keep it up!