Goodness Gracious
Thursday, April 8, 2010 at 11:46AM During the time that I have kept this blog there have been several comments about me and motherhood. Very kind people have written things along the lines of,"You are such a good mom!"
This makes me squirm.
It is quite a compliment to me, but the truth is that being a mom is hard for this here woman. (Seriously? I have a hard time even calling myself a woman. I'm still just 15!) I have friends for whom motherhood seems to come so naturally; they are almost always smiling, warm, and nurturing; they speak to their kids in a tone that I rarely use. While they are gently but firmly reminding their kids that "feet go on the ground, not in trees," I'm hollering across the park,"Get out of that tree before you fall and break your neck or your leg! I don't want to spend the evening in the hospital!" and "Stay away from the dead fish!" The one thing I do seem to be good at is passing along my neuroses; they must change when we come home from any public place, and a bottle of Purell is never far from reach.
I often think that whatever goodness is in or comes from my kids is in spite of me, not because of me. Before anyone gets upset and thinks I'm being too hard on myself, don't! I'm just saying that I'm not the mom who gets up before everyone, makes pancakes in the morning, helps my kids memorize Bible verses (although I really need to do this one), or shows them how to clean up after themselves (um, I don't even clean up after myself). There are a lot of things not getting done around here.
We have had some crazy years, some undisciplined years, some wingin'-it-like-it's-our-job years. I will say that recently we have all been talking about the changes that we all know need to take place. I will also say that there is a lot going unsaid since this is our life I'm talking about and it's the internet. Sorry for being so vague.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I have my moments; I have moments when I really enjoy being a mom. I love to watch my kids be who they are, have fun doing what they are doing, and get along together. I also have my moments when it seems like too much and I want to quit; I feel overwhelmed and like I just can't take it or do it anymore.
Maybe what I should say is thank you. Thank you for taking the time to stop by, to see what our family is up to, to listen to me babble about our days. Thank you for graciously encouraging me (and I know there are others that you encourage as well!) on this journey. It means a lot.
I also want to say that I can't take credit for the good mommy moments. I have to give all of the credit to God. He is faithful when I am not, to me and to my family. While I almost always feel like the prodigal daughter, He continually proves himself to be the prodigal God. (Read that book! It's a good one!)
Now...I'm going to lighten things up a bit. The other day when we were at our friends' house, Elaine and Rex, Michaela found a wig and you know she just had to put it on...
We all cracked up. Of course it was just too much for another small person in my life that Michaela got to do something that was so fun...so the hair was passed along...
Oh, the hysteria!
Oh, the giggling!
Oh, the madness!
You didn't think Christian wouldn't have a go, did you?
Now, people ask all the time if the kids look like me or like Mike; in general, I would say that they are a pretty good mix. But, I think that these pictures can be used as solid evidence that the genetic influence from my side is heavy. Let me show you what I mean...
Oh, who am I kidding? They're way cuter! And I couldn't take that crazy hair off.
Would a good mom post these pictures on the web? I don't know about that...
silly, some thoughts
Reader Comments (18)
Oh my goodness!! I don't know which picture is funniest. I laughed out loud at each one as I scrolled down. Wow, I've heard about your hair, but I don't think I've ever seen it...quite impressive.
You are a great mom! We've all got our challenges, believe me. Some may just be a little more obvious than others, but we've all got them.
Now that was stinkin funny. That was some awesome hair you had! :)
Aren't all mothers hard on themselves?
I am constantly feeling like a failure.
And I know of lots of areas in my life that need change and improvement.
But motherhood is hard, dude!
So, we should just encourage each other and laugh together!
And look at stinkin funny pictures of ourselves from the days of yore . . . and thank the good Lord that our hair looks much better now. :)
I love you for sharing that. I have recently come to the conclusion that I am just going to have to live with the reality that I am never going to be known as one of the "sweet moms". My kids will sometimes remark on another mom saying, 'She is the NICEST mom." I am darn sure none of their friends say that about me!
I'm with you... "GET OUT OF THAT TREE!!" :) (Although with my middle child, there is no hope of that. So I have learned to look the other way).
Good post.
Best.Picture.Ever!
Christina, you wrote what every mother thinks/fears. We are all scared to death of being the biggest failure when it comes to our kids. Even the mom's with the quiet voices worry about screwing up their kids -- I'm sure of it (and I'm not one of the "quiet voiced" mothers...ask anyone who has ever met me....there is NOTHING quiet about Jaime!!) I was so glad you gave God the credit. I know I pray every day that God will fill in the gaps where I fail. God didn't make perfect people and I have to realize that as a mother -- and rely on HIM all the more. (I will also share....since I am prone to yell, I have been counting to 10 before I say anything to the kids...this is my own way of "counseling" myself. However, there are days when I am able to count slowly "1....2....3....4...etc" and other days when it is a wee bit faster "12345678910!!!!!!!!!!") God give us grace!! Praise him! I need all the grace and mercy I can get -- and if I'm being completely honest...so does my 2 year old! Ha! Bless you! Have a great day!
Eh. If you were one of the perfect mommies I couldn't be your friend because you'd give me an inferiority complex. I know a secret though: Those perfect mommies? They're pretty sure they're screwing it up too.
Bottom line: Love your kids more than yourself and do the best you can. God put those kids in YOUR house for a reason.
Also, put money aside for when they need therapy later. ;)
That hair!!! Wow! Of course, I don't have much room to talk. My mom gave me perms growing up so my hair looked a lot like when your daughter wearing the wig in the first pic. Not pretty!
And you're a GREAT mom because you're still in the game and your family is happy and healthy. God will put people in your kids lives who will fill in the gaps where you may fall short. My parent's marriage was miserable, but I had so many families who had happy marriages all around me while I was growing up, and I don't believe in coincidences!
I am right there with you. There are so many times I feel so inadequate as a mother. Especially living in CRW where there truly are so many great people and so many great mothers. I cringe after yelling at my kids knowing the whole building probably heard me. But I do know that all kinds of mothers struggle with this same thing. We all feel inadequate in so many ways. I think God is there to help us at so many times, even when we aren't quite sure we are doing it all right. We all have those good and bad moments. Sometimes I worry that those bad moments are going to ruin my kids. I probably worry about that way too often. So hang in there. There are so many others that share your same worries.
That picture of you is awesome!!!!!
UJERGTDHJDFGFDSJFGSKJDCGDMDCMFGJHFKGBDGNBGHTHFMFNSNjthfjgtnbhhghfkgghfkjhgdikfmgnbvghjkg,fmdnhjkghgmfndbxcnvbmh,gfmmvbn/Nb;gbG;ld./fdlsdcfgh;lkc,.x/cvb /Z/S'Dr?;LKD.GLKFJMF,GKJFHDNMJFGFDGYUDJNDHnm,./d/s';ls.e/rt'[0o5p6r9iekl./rgc,xkl;/s'[]
HCGDMNFBDJFGDRJRGFRJ58RRIURTG3UQJ$^$@!!%^_))((*&^^%^,GHFJGHGFJGGHFGGJDLRJCHGVFJJFJJNNF
So sorry...a wayward child got a hold of my computer!
Wendy, that's okay! Look how many comments I have on this post! :)
For a second I thought that was a picture of me in the 6th grade. I definitely had those same eyeglass frames.
What were the makers of glasses thinking??
Heheh! That wig is hilarious! I love it!
Oh girlie you are not alone. I believe I'm a good mom, but there have been times...especially when my kids were 3-4 years of age that I wasn't. You know those struggle years where every little thing is a challenge. It was hard. But thankfully we are through that hard stage and until the next one comes things have been pretty smooth sailing. It goes in cycles I think. Anyway those were really funny pics:) Loved it!
Oh and to answer your question about our weightloss. I've been writing down every thing I eat and balancing good carbs with protein in every meal. I go to the gym at least 4 times a week. No sugary treats and no fried foods...no junk. It was really hard at first. The cravings were horrible. But as the weight dropped it got easier and I don't have to as strict to maintain. If you have any more questions let me know:)
Oh how funny! I remember having a wig just like that growing up as a child, lol! I'm glad you visited again! Of course I remember you! :)
OMG--QUIT showing that picture--it's cracking me up! The kiddo's looked like they were having such a fun time with a silly wig...simple pleasures!!