On Good Friday There Was Suffering
Friday, April 6, 2012 at 10:30PM I wish I could write a profound, beautiful post as we anticipate Easter morning. I often read blogs of other women who write such wonderful and inspriational posts. They are wise, know an abundance of Scripture, and seem spiritually disciplined. (Please hear me the right way when you read the following sentence[s]. I am just being honest regarding my thoughts, not trying to toot any of my own horns.) I frequently think,"I could write things like that. I know in my head the right things to say, what sounds eloquent and good and holy...but it wouldn't be coming from a genuine place." I do know a lot of the right things to say. I know all about the covenants and the promises, God's faithfulness in spite of Israel's rebellion, the intricate weaving of the story of Jesus' ancestry and birth, the story of the Kingdom and how it came unexpectedly, about the strength of weakness, the victory from seemingly utter and complete defeatedness.
And I still struggle on Good Friday to have a good day.
Maybe that makes sense. Mike read the story of Jesus' trial and execution after dinner tonight; before he read it, he told Eliana that he was going to read something and it was important to listen. He said,"It's about the saddest thing that has ever happened, and the most wonderful thing that has ever happened for you." Isn't that just right? Most of the day, I have been sad. Not necessarily overwhelmed (in fact, I wrote that word down, and then deleted it because I knew it wasn't the right choice), but sad. I was sad that my kids were fighting a lot today. I was sad that I was obsessing about certain things that are not in my control to do much about. I was sad about the state of my laundry. I was sad that during the Good Friday service we attended, I felt like I didn't want to be there because Christian was asking questions (it was a Requiem sung in Latin) and we got a dirty look from a lady sitting in front of us.
The list goes on. That isn't so important, though. Earlier tonight, I wrote what I hoped would be an encouraging message to someone who is experiencing a great difficulty. I wouldn't normally do this, but I'm going to share it here; what I wrote, I want so much to believe. May it be so.
At the end of the day, I find myself thinking,"For all of these things, we need a Savior. For all of these reasons, we cannot do it ourselves. There is no one but the Lord who can help us, who can rescue us, who can heal, free, restore, and literally save us." Sometimes I can listen to myself. Sometimes it's harder to.
We are broken vessels at the mercy of a broken world. That is a lot of brokenness. My heart hurts for you guys, and I am so saddened by all that has befallen you. But I come back to the fact that God is in the business of restoration. And business isn't really the right word, because that doesn't imply the love that he has for us. I hope and pray for you all as well as for me, and others that I know are hurting, that we can take our pain to the cross. That we can hand it over to the One who knows about suffering. That we can use it to remind ourselves that our suffering can have meaning and purpose. I don't know what that is or will be. It is such a great mystery. How can my heart be broken and hopeful at the same time? I don't know!...God almighty sent his son to save us. May you feel his presence, very real, tonight and this weekend, and on Sunday morning. May you find HIS strength in your weakness, as you look to the hope that is coming and has come. He rose from the dead! We have great things to look forward to, and his promises are all we have to cling to...May you know that he is carrying you. Totally carrying you!
Today is a good day to reflect on Christ's sufferings, as well as look forward to and anticipate his victory. Claim those things. All of it goes together; I [have been] reminded [by Mike] that we can't have the resurrection without the crucifixion.
(This is me, now, again)
What it boils down to is that I am totally busted up, and I can't fix my own self. I need someone else to do it. The good news that is buried in the mystery and beauty of Good Friday is that Sunday is coming.
Hallelujah. Lord, save us. Thank you for your mercy and grace.
Reader Comments (4)
Well said.
good stuff. not feeling eloquent either (even though you ended up being eloquent, you jerk)*
*another reason to need a Savior
That is just what I needed to read. I have been struggling this afternoon with saying goodbye yet again. You are way more eloquent that I can ever be!