Refuge

We can play our best defense...

We can give it our all...

We can be alert and ready for action...

We can keep our eyes on the ball...

We can sometimes succeed in that defense...

But then there are times we are just not able to keep the other team from scoring a goal.

Soccer?  It's just a game. But in life, the defeats can seem overwhelming. 

Christian had a hard time at his game today; he sat out one quarter and cried because his team rarely scores and has never won.  He is a good soccer player and most of the boys on the team try really hard.  The thing is, they go to a very small private school.  There is no playing field, and while they do get a recess each day they play on a small playground within the church's campus.  The kids that they play soccer against go to bigger schools and likely play soccer almost every day.  They know what they are doing.  They are aggressive, too.  So, Christian's team struggles to compete with these guys who are more savvy on the field. 

I felt like Christian today...it seemed like the day was too much for me at one point.  I couldn't play defense.  I had a terrible experience with Eliana in a store; terrible, like, I had to leave she was screaming so loudly.  There were women who actually said, so that I could hear them,"Oh my gosh!"  I didn't know what made me more upset.  I have to say, we both carried on in the car-she screamed at me, and I responded in a way that was less than grown-up.  I finally realized that I just needed to be quiet.  When we got home she crashed in the bed with Mike and I escaped for a bit all by myself. 

The rest of the day was a little better.  I had to finish it out, right?  Just like Christian had to get back in the game.  He joined his team again, and while he was still upset he played hard till the end.  And although they lost, he chose not to dwell on that.  There was a cookie, after all!  It's good when you can taste the sweet after defeat. 

I confess that I go to the wrong place for the sweet.  I want to be more diligent about seeking sweetness in a better place.  Psalm 34:8 says,"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."  Isn't that beautiful?  Refuge is defined in this way:  shelter or protection from danger or distress;  a place that provides shelter or protection; something to which one has recourse in difficulty (Merriam-Webster online).  There is no better place to go than to the Lord.  It is something that I know and yet am still learning.

Beachy Keen

Oh dear.

I was already looking forward to our time at the beach this summer.

This just makes me think it will be even more fun than I thought.

I might take a few pictures.

What do you think?

You Know You're (This) Christina When...

You buy cards a month early for a major holiday...

And then stash them away and completely forget until you find them just before said holiday.  (For two separate holidays, in fact.)

You always remember to take your camera to the kids' soccer games...

But never remember their water bottles.  (Um, priorities, people.)

You leave the house in order to return an item to a store...

And realize after running a couple of other errands first you forgot the item by the door at home.

You leave the house in order to run a very particular errand (like pick up the dry cleaning)...

And arrive home having forgotten to run that errand at all.

You leave the house with your children wearing inappropriate attire, either unknowingly or knowingly.

You lose your sunglasses since you haven't worn them since last summer...

But find them when looking for your add-on flash.  (Of course they are together!)

You boil some eggs for your daughter and husband...

And find them in the pan on the stovetop six hours later.  (The burner was turned off-whew!)

You schedule a fun Easter Egg hunt-attending adventure with a friend of the family...

While forgetting about your daughter's soccer game THAT IS ON THE CALENDAR and is scheduled for the same time as the egg-finding-animal-petting-bouncehouse-jumping-cookie-eating-at-10:30-in-the-morning adventure in the park.  (I did realize it the night before...saved from my double-booking by my own brain!)

You break your own glasses in one quick and artful move trying to adjust the stem.

You realize your sleeves need to be pulled up a bit while you are getting dinner ready, so you throw your arms up quickly in order to adjust your sleeves...

And crack the two eggs you are holding, one in each hand, on the hood of your oven and watch as they land in a glass baking dish containing homemade marbles on your stovetop.  (Um, I meant to do that part.  Yeah, that's right.)  (I have to make marbles, since mine have gone totally missing.)

You schedule a follow-up dentist appointment for your son for the morning his class begins their end-of-the-year achievement testing, as well as for thirty minutes before you are supposed to be back to pick up your youngest daughter from her co-op class.  (What?  What is a calendar?  There is a calendar that will fit in my purse?)

The one thing I seem to be good at is making this list longer...

I'll give a pretend million dollars to anyone who can guess what I have decided my theme song in life is.



Goodness Gracious

During the time that I have kept this blog there have been several comments about me and motherhood.  Very kind people have written things along the lines of,"You are such a good mom!"

This makes me squirm. 

It is quite a compliment to me, but the truth is that being a mom is hard for this here woman.  (Seriously?  I have a hard time even calling myself a woman.  I'm still just 15!)  I have friends for whom motherhood seems to come so naturally; they are almost always smiling, warm, and nurturing; they speak to their kids in a tone that I rarely use.  While they are gently but firmly reminding their kids that "feet go on the ground, not in trees," I'm hollering across the park,"Get out of that tree before you fall and break your neck or your leg!  I don't want to spend the evening in the hospital!" and "Stay away from the dead fish!"  The one thing I do seem to be good at is passing along my neuroses; they must change when we come home from any public place, and a bottle of Purell is never far from reach.

I often think that whatever goodness is in or comes from my kids is in spite of me, not because of me.  Before anyone gets upset and thinks I'm being too hard on myself, don't!  I'm just saying that I'm not the mom who gets up before everyone, makes pancakes in the morning, helps my kids memorize Bible verses (although I really need to do this one), or shows them how to clean up after themselves (um, I don't even clean up after myself).  There are a lot of things not getting done around here. 

We have had some crazy years, some undisciplined years, some wingin'-it-like-it's-our-job years.  I will say that recently we have all been talking about the changes that we all know need to take place.  I will also say that there is a lot going unsaid since this is our life I'm talking about and it's the internet.  Sorry for being so vague.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I have my moments; I have moments when I really enjoy being a mom.  I love to watch my kids be who they are, have fun doing what they are doing, and get along together.  I also have my moments when it seems like too much and I want to quit; I feel overwhelmed and like I just can't take it or do it anymore. 

Maybe what I should say is thank you.  Thank you for taking the time to stop by, to see what our family is up to, to listen to me babble about our days.  Thank you for graciously encouraging me (and I know there are others that you encourage as well!) on this journey.  It means a lot.

I also want to say that I can't take credit for the good mommy moments.  I have to give all of the credit to God.  He is faithful when I am not, to me and to my family.  While I almost always feel like the prodigal daughter, He continually proves himself to be the prodigal God.  (Read that book!  It's a good one!)

Now...I'm going to lighten things up a bit.  The other day when we were at our friends' house, Elaine and Rex, Michaela found a wig and you know she just had to put it on...

We all cracked up.  Of course it was just too much for another small person in my life that Michaela got to do something that was so fun...so the hair was passed along...

Oh, the hysteria!

Oh, the giggling!

Oh, the madness!

You didn't think Christian wouldn't have a go, did you?

Now, people ask all the time if the kids look like me or like Mike; in general, I would say that they are a pretty good mix.  But, I think that these pictures can be used as solid evidence that the genetic influence from my side is heavy.  Let me show you what I mean...

Oh, who am I kidding?  They're way cuter!  And I couldn't take that crazy hair off.

Would a good mom post these pictures on the web?  I don't know about that...

Saturday's for Soccer and Swimming

Michaela got some good running time in this last game!  In her previous game, she pretty much stood around and watched everyone else at the other end of the field, but last weekend she was on offense and she totally stepped up!

I was so proud!  I am the girl who tries to kick the ball, and falls flat on her back.  (whump!  *Me waving from the ground)

She dribbled, and she passed...

and then my girl tried to score a goal!

I think as she practices that trying will turn into success! 

Have I mentioned that I love her?  Because I do.  Just a little.

After the game we were invited to our friends' house from church, the sweet couple who takes care of us and loves on us whenever they see us.  The kids were ready to go swimming...

but the water was pretty cold, and unfortunately their heater was not working.

They splashed around a bit but no one stayed fully in the water for very long.

This girl here?  She didn't even stick her big toe in.  She is a total weenie and really does not like to be cold, much less cold and wet.

Peek-a-boo.

While I did remember to bring three swim diapers, I forgot to bring even one bathing suit for Eliana.  Or for Christian.  (Actually, I asked Christian to get his own, but he didn't, and then I didn't, so we ended up with none for him too.  Awesome!  That is why you won't see much of him...he was swimming in his undies.)

Michaela soon discovered that Elaine (our friend) was planting a big bunch of pots for her backyard, and since the girl is part mole she was all in. 

And I mean ALL IN.  She is not afraid to get her hands dirty.  Or her legs, her arms, and her face.

Speaking of a face...I can't get enough of this one.

Or this one...his is just a tad more elusive.

I have to get pictures of Christian on the sly most of the time.  He had a ton of fun cleaning Elaine and Rex's pool.  I'm sure they want to have him over every weekend!

Eliana got more and more brave as the time went on and her legs got numb she got used to the water.

It was very cold, but I think she ended up being in the water the most out of the three of them.

I loved watching them...

their joy...

their love...

their imaginativeness...

their peacefulness...

their sweetness...

It's an amazing thing for people to love you.  We are loved, and are so grateful.